Lost in the Shuffle Between 2 Counties

I don’t think counties talk to each other. At least, Los Angeles County and Riverside County seem to have a prickly relationship.

When I lived in Pasadena, I had a property tax deduction on my Linda Vista house that I thought was because of Proposition 13. Now, I am told it is propositions 60 to 90. Do you suppose that means that one proposition has been supplanted by 31? Surely not, although counties do seem to like paper a lot.

I called the Riverside tax collector’s office some weeks ago and spent the day listening to a busy signal. Then I called the Los Angeles tax collector’s office.

After a series of recordings, none of which was applicable, I finally reached a lady named Josie Gonzales. I asked her for a copy of my tax bill for Linda Vista that Riverside wanted, along with a copy of my driver’s license or birth certificate. For one ecstatic moment, I thought they might be planning a birthday party to welcome me to the county, but I don’t think so.

Josie sent me a copy of my last tax bill, showing that I had paid half of the bill and that the people who bought my house had paid the other half. I bundled it up and sent it to the people in Riverside.

After some days I received a letter from Tonia Bealer saying they must have a copy of my most recent tax bill, which I had already sent them. “We need to see the assessed valuation of the former property that is shown on the regular tax bill,” she said.

I had no such paper, having sent the perforated part, along with my check, to Los Angeles County. But remembering that Tom Swift was not dismayed (I had always wondered what was the matter with the dolt), I started all over again.

First, I called the tax collector in Los Angeles County and heard a recorded message repeated many times. The county seemed to use the same kinds of records.

The Los Angeles one kept saying, “Please stay on the line. An operator is being dialed to assist you.”

After 12 repetitions, my spirits were beginning to flag, and I was beginning to have the teensiest doubt that anyone was being dialed to assist me. Under and over the record, a reggae beat was playing.

I hung up and called again and waited a long time and heard a human voice. It was more startling than an encounter of the third kind.

My mouth was dry and I stammered, “Can I speak to Josie Gonzales?”

I did get to speak to Josie, who told me I needed to speak to Trudy. I spoke to Trudy, who told me I should speak to Emma and gave me a telephone number.

I started to dial again, went through the entire thing, the recording, the reggae, and finally reached Emma. She said she didn’t know why I had been given her number. I told her I didn’t either, but I guessed that the other women were just getting rid of me.

Then Emma said, “But I handle unsecured property.”

That sounded promising, so I asked her what kind. She said, “Boats and airplanes.”

I began to wonder if I had inadvertently bought a boat or an airplane instead of a house. Emma was nice and patient and said, “I’ll tell you what to do. I’ll give you a number and if you can reach Tricia Ewell or Tyrone Hunt, they will be able to help you.”

I wished Emma a happy life and thanked her extravagantly, which she deserved, sitting there with all those unsecured boats and airplanes.

I called the number Emma had given me and reached Tricia Ewell. She was delightful and listened to my story--which I had almost ceased to believe myself. I told her I needed something that showed the value of the Linda Vista house.

She told me that she did not have the bills but would send me a Certificate of Payment from the County of Los Angeles with the assessed valuation. I received it in a couple of days.

I will send all the stuff off again today and pray that Tonia Bealer accepts the valuation. If that isn’t what she wants, I don’t know what to do next. I do not want to talk to anyone except Tricia Ewell, deputy tax collector for Los Angeles County, and Tonia Bealer, office assistant in the Proposition 60-90 Section in Riverside County.

In the midst of all this, I sent the Riverside property tax office a check for $532.07. Tonia says that if all goes well, I will get that money back in maybe six months because they only have two people working in that section. Oh, dear.