Miss Manners Springs a Pop Quiz

School’s back in session, rock fans, and it’s time for a pop quiz on concert etiquette.

1--True/False: It is proper to conduct a conversation while the opening act performs.

Answer: True. Only family members and friends of the opening-act band arrive for the first set, and they’ve heard the songs before. Remember to raise your voice so the music won’t drown out your insights on the Cowsills’ comeback.

2--True/False: Members of the audience should chat during guitar solos, keyboard solos, etc.

Answer: True. Performers know it’s difficult for the audience to remain silent, so they include instrumental solos to relieve the pressure on their fans. Solos are a good time to decide where to go after the show.

3--True/False: It is proper to talk to your friends while the performer is speaking.

Answer: True. It’s not only proper, it’s downright patriotic. Exercise your First Amendment rights.

Scoring:

--If you got none or one right, stay home and rent music videos; you obviously don’t know how to conduct yourself in public.

--Two or three right: Congratulations!

JEANNE MARIE MONAGHAN

Los Angeles