Finally, an issue has arisen in the...

Finally, an issue has arisen in the L.A. County Assessor’s race:

The Persian Gulf crisis.

It has nothing to do with property values.

Incumbent John Lynch, facing an unexpectedly tough reelection fight, announced that he plans to tie “the world’s largest yellow ribbon” around the block-long County Hall of Administration on Thursday.

Lynch termed it “a powerful message of support to the American men and women risking their lives in the Persian Gulf. . . .”

But Kenneth P. Hahn, Lynch’s opponent for the low-profile office, decried the idea as a “morally repugnant” attempt “to make political hay at the expense of our soldiers.”

Lynch, by the way, had previously unveiled “Operation Desert Letters,” encouraging all employees in his office to write to the soldiers.

He took the lead, writing a note on department stationery. One can only imagine the first reaction of a G.I., thousands of miles from home, upon opening a letter from the “Office of the Los Angeles County Assessor.”

Samantha and Susanne Caulfield of West Hollywood, meanwhile, are collecting signatures on what they call “a nonpolitical greeting” for troops in the Gulf--a 1,300-foot-long scroll. So far, they’ve filled up more than a thousand feet of the scroll with some 12,000 names and greetings. Numerous celebrities have signed, including Johnny Carson and (it follows) Ed McMahon.

Not only are Drexel Burnham Lambert Inc. and junk-bond felon Michael Milken accused of damaging the nation’s economy through their misdeeds, they apparently didn’t help stave off Southern California’s drought, either.

Ex-Drexel salesman Terren Peizer testified Friday that there was such a climate of fear after Ivan Boesky began cooperating with the insider-trading investigation that “everyone was running faucets” inside Drexel’s Beverly Hills offices to drown out conversations.

Where were the Drought Police when we needed them?

The California Driving School, where ticketed motorists can take classes to keep their driving record clean, is currently displaying a somewhat ironic ad (see photograph) on its downtown building.

Rob Devine points out that, for those who experienced the ‘60s, a new business on 2nd Street in Santa Monica might conjure up visions of candles, incense and psychedelic posters. A “head shop” capitalizing on the nostalgia craze?

Actually, it’s an adjunct of the Ye Olde King’s Head pub--Ye Olde King’s Head Shop.

Only in L.A. Menu Item of the Week: At Francelli’s restaurant in Long Beach--California Beach Pizza, topped with clams.

Doomsday predictions for L.A. have been made by a a medieval prophet (Nostradamus supposedly picked May 10, 1988), a Wall Street guru (Joseph Granville chose April 10, 1981), an evangelist (a Hollywood preacher picked June 9, 1980) and a sci-fi author (Curt Gentry chose Feb. 12, 1969). So why not a Jamaican Jewish clairvoyant?

Ernesto Moshe Montgomery pegged Oct. 17, 1992, as the date of the Big One at a press conference here the other day. And what were his criteria?

“I have an antenna behind each ear and they throb when an earthquake is coming,” he explained.

miscelLAny:

The Kaiser Steel mill, which opened in 1942, was constructed 55 miles inland in Fontana to protect it from Japanese attack.