Litigation Could Lead to an X-Rated Trial
Your legal system at work.
The federal courthouse in San Diego gets its share of big-buck civil suits. God must have loved litigants, He made so many of them.
But, even by those standards, the case of Harold R. Starke, et al., vs. Dr. Marvin S. Hausman, et al., amended, demurred, cross-filed, updated, etc., may be one of a kind.
It started out as a falling-out among business partners, with Starke accusing Hausman of luring him into a lousy investment on a new product.
That was two years ago. Since then, the complaints and cross-complaints have filled thousands of pages: six 5-inch-thick folders and rising.
In spirit, it goes something like this:
“ You’re a crook. “
“ You’re a bumbler. “
“ You told me this thing was sure-fire, and it ain’t. “
“ You wouldn’t know a good investment if it bit you. “
Allegations of medical malpractice, legal malpractice, racketeering. Allegations of “failure to perform” and willful violation of contracts, written and oral.
Starke says he invested about $300,000. He wants millions in damages.
Several of San Diego’s biggest law firms are engaged: among them, Sparber, Ferguson, Naumann & Ponder; McInnis, Fitzgerald, Rees, Sharkey & McIntyre, and Seltzer, Caplan, Wilkins & McMahon.
These aren’t law firms that advertise on the back of bus benches. We’re talking serious legal muscle.
Depositions continue apace. If anybody is talking compromise, they’re not talking very loud.
And what is all this squabbling and heartache about?
An anti-impotence gizmo called the Strut, a corset-like alternative to penile implants and/or psychiatry.
Starke and his lawyers allege that the Strut hadn’t been properly marketed or road-tested.
“If we get to trial,” says one combatant, “you’ll see some interesting exhibits.”
Final Solutions
Hostility and other emotions.
* South County bumper sticker: “There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of High Explosives.”
* Sign on recreational vehicle northbound on Interstate 15: “Protected by Pit Bull. With AIDS.”
* A Solana Beach surplus store is doing a brisk business selling stickers that give a “Revised Miranda Warning.”
“You have the right to swing first. However, if you choose to swing first, any move you make can and will be used as an excuse to beat the hell out of you. You have the right to have a doctor and priest present. . . “
The warning also comes in Spanish.
* Forget you.
Rep. Jim Bates (D-San Diego), defeated for a fifth term, may have been dumped by the “none of the above” movement.
In Bates’ 44th District, 5,000 voters who cast votes for governor declined to vote in the congressional race, unwilling to choose between Bates, Randy Cunningham and two minor candidates.
Political pros say that’s a large number of refusals. Bates lost to Cunningham by only 1,659 votes.
* Semper fi.
A Marine corporal at Camp Pendleton has been sentenced to 51 days in the brig and a reduction in pay.
His crime: two counts of adultery.
* Nomination for trendy San Diegan of the month: that local hospital executive who has an answering machine hooked up to his car phone.
* Booze has been banned from the Open Air Theatre at San Diego State. Too much rowdiness during concerts.
Conventional Rumor
Rumor in Republican circles: San Diego will get the 1992 convention.
Among the reasons: President Bush does not want to go to Houston now that Ann Richards, a Democrat and longtime Bush-baiter, is Texas’ new governor.
That could change, though, if the Republicans figure that requiring California Republicans to raise $4 million to get the convention here would suck up money that otherwise would go for GOP candidates in 1992.
That’s the year both U.S. Senate seats from California will be up: one without an incumbent, one with only an appointed incumbent.
