Tired of hearing the guys at work--or...
Tired of hearing the guys at work--or your spouse--say you’re not funny? Now you can prove them wrong. UCLA’s extension school is offering “A Certificate Program in Comedy.”
That’s right. All you--yes, you!--have to do to “graduate” is achieve a C average in three yuk-yuk classes (tuition totals about $1,000). Then if someone refuses to laugh at one of your jokes, you can flash your certificate to prove you are, indeed, funny.
Other artistic opportunities abound in UCLA’s extension school.
Would-be writers can take advantage of “The Art of the Bestseller ($345),” or, if you’re too busy to fashion a long classic, “Writing After 5 p.m.: Short Fiction in a Busy Life ($145).”
But perhaps you wish to excel in the culinary arts. Tres bien . You can fork over $240 for:
“Master Class: Appetizers.”
Stupid Criminal Tricks (cont.): The transient, wearing a chef’s apron and hat, was whipping up a vanilla malt when police arrived at Tommy’s Burgers in Wilmington at 5 a.m. Tuesday.
They had been alerted by a suspicious janitor who not only had been unable to recognize the “chef,” but had been denied a cup of coffee by the man.
When police asked the transient what he was doing there, LAPD Sgt. Tony Rosa recalled, “He said he was fixing something to eat.”
Booked on suspicion of burglary, the transient eventually did eat.
“He had a nice jail breakfast,” Rosa said.
On our growing list of odd Spanish/English marriages, Robert Borden of Santa Monica nominates the El Segundo First National Bank.
The name translates, of course as: The The Second First National Bank.
We mentioned the mysterious “Squirrel Crossing” sign in Beverly Hills Tuesday. Now comes word of some hand-written street notices that seemed to mention birds--terns, to be exact--at a construction site in West Hollywood. But, no.
Passing motorist Steve Rabbette looked closer and noticed that this is a previously unknown variety (see photograph).
A motorist heading south on Interstate 5 heard L.A. Rams announcer Eddie Doucette state that the 49ers were “moving from left to right on your radio dial.”
The listener wonders: “Was that also true for motorists who were driving north?”
Just asking.
miscelLAny:
The Puente Hills landfill in the San Gabriel Valley, where 12,000 tons of trash are dumped daily, is the second-largest in the nation.