Ditka Has Necessities to Be the Perfect Type-A Person

You hate to open the paper week after week and read about Mike Ditka’s blowups.

So how about an expert on type-A behavior commenting on Mike Ditka’s blowups?

Meyer Friedman, a San Francisco physician, in an interview with the Associated Press, defined type-A behavior as “an emotional medical disorder characterized by excessive impatience and easily aroused hostility in trivial matters involving other people.”

After Ditka’s most recent eruption, during a news conference last Monday, Friedman called Ditka “the perfect type-A person.”

The Bear coach called Red Mottlow of Chicago radio station WFYR a “jerk” and a “joke” for asking him what was wrong with the Bears’ offense during Sunday’s 10-9 loss to Washington.

After that, Ditka walked off, ending the session.

Add Ditka: The next day, the coach explained to a luncheon gathering: “I wasn’t mad. I just wasn’t going to get into a contest over our difficulties on offense. Our difficulties on offense aren’t that great. We did throw the ball better (against Washington) than we had all season.”

He said he had broken off the news conference because “I didn’t want to get into a contest with (Mottlow).”

Said Friedman: “Mr. Ditka should be more like (San Francisco quarterback) Joe Montana. He’s a Type-B personality who doesn’t get rattled over trivialities. . . . But for Mr. Ditka, frankly, it would take two or three years of type-B counseling.”

Trivia time: During his career with the Chicago Bears, from 1975-87, how many games did running back Walter Payton miss?

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk: Word going around Cleveland is that they’ve changed the names of the Three Stooges to Larry, Curly and Modell.

Ballet bashing?: Mark McGwire, the Oakland Athletics’ slugging first baseman, is appearing in the Oakland Ballet’s production of Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker,” along with Manager Tony La Russa and teammates Steve Howard and Dave Stewart.

When a reporter asked him how he liked ballet dancing, McGwire said: “This is not ballet dancing, OK? Let’s get that straight. This isn’t ballet. We’re soldiers marching around.”

How about Geraldo?: Vince Coleman, who recently signed a four-year contract with the New York Mets for $11.95 million, has thrown more gasoline on the hot stove league fires.

Coleman told Hal Bock of the AP: “If the fans have a problem with money, that’s the fans’ problem. Michael Jackson makes $96 million for a show. Eddie Murphy makes 50, 60, 70 million dollars a year. We’re only baseball players making 3 million dollars a year.”

Trivia answer: One, in 1975.

Quotebook: Chi Chi Rodriguez, on playing in a senior golf tournament at his home course, Dorado Beach, in Puerto Rico: “When I caddied there, I was paid 10 cents a bag. But if you lost a ball, they kicked your butt and fired you. I never lost a ball.”