Bridging the Gulf : Reservist’s Wife Holds Christmas Gathering for Unit’s Families

The calendar read Dec. 16, but for Tina James this was Christmas.

Originally, she had planned this weekend to hold a welcome-home celebration for her husband, Russ, a naval reservist stationed in the Persian Gulf whose unit had been scheduled to leave the region last Friday.

But since President Bush’s decree last month extending the troops’ stay, James has been told her husband will not be returning home until March 14--or later, if war comes with the new year.

So, with the holidays approaching and her husband half a world away, James held a Christmas gathering at her home Sunday for the families of the 68 men and women in the Mobile Inshore Undersea Warfare Unit No. 105 of the Naval Reserves, most of whom live in the Orange County area.

“For me, this is my Christmas party this year,” James said, standing among about 50 friends and relatives of unit members who turned out for the gathering. “I’m not doing anything for Christmas until Russ gets home. This is my family for now.”

The families have been meeting monthly since the men and women in No. 105 were stationed in Saudi Arabia on Sept. 24.

Like James, many of the spouses, parents, siblings and friends of the reservists said they have grown increasingly fearful and skeptical about the gulf situation since the news of the 90-day deployment extension.

“There is no clear reason for (U.S. troops) being over there,” said Fernando Misquez, whose 29-year-old brother, Vincent, is in the unit. “The President has changed his reasons as he’s gone along, and it’s not fair to the people and the families of those men and women. Instead of a defensive stance, we’ve changed and said we’re in for offensive purposes.”

Teri Young, whose husband, Kevin, is in the unit, said she still fundamentally supports the government’s justification for the military buildup in the region. But she is expecting a child next month and is angered at the delay in her husband’s return.

“Now, we’re faced with Christmas and the birth of the baby without Kevin being here. That’s the hardest part,” she said.

Sue, an Orange County resident who requested her last name withheld, said the next three months without her husband will mean not only an emotional loss, but also a financial one. Without his paycheck, their income has plummeted 65%, she said.

“It’s meant a total change of lifestyle,” she said. In addition to selling one of the family cars and liquidating other assets, Sue has returned to work for the first time in seven years. Consequently, she also has to arrange for day care for her two children.

For many of those interviewed, the group’s monthly meetings have provided a vital beacon of support.

And the most effective mode of therapy, they say, has been the video camera.

The group sent a videotaped Thanksgiving greeting to the unit and recorded Christmas messages during Sunday’s party. Many of them have bought their own cameras and are recording additional greetings themselves.

Pat Nieuwenhuyzen of Laguna Hills said the videotapes she has exchanged with her roommate and best friend, reserve Lt. Sandy Adams, have helped her weather the tenuous period.

Along with personal messages, Nieuwenhuyzen has sent Adams tapes of “every important event” back home, including a Disneyland trip and scenes of their beloved golden retriever playing with a neighbor’s dog.

“I try to record different things to keep her part of the everyday goings-on here,” she said. “And it gives you something to look forward to.”