Adele Erenberg of Hollywood passed along a...
Adele Erenberg of Hollywood passed along a Christmas card that contained season’s greetings as well as a warning that “cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide.”
It was from a cigarette company.
“This is the funniest Christmas card one could receive,” she noted. “Greetings from R.J. Reynolds and the surgeon general.”
Speaking of unusual Christmas messages, a sign on one Tarzana toy store said:
“DIVORCE SALE--Wife has forced husband out of business.”
As for unique gifts, one contender surely was the donation of $12,000 worth of Amoretti pistachio almond truffles to a homeless shelter in Van Nuys. The Amoretti company pointed out that they were “all natural” truffles that contained “no cholesterol, no artificial flavors and no preservatives.”
Then there was the announcement in the winter newsletter of Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Lawrence Birnbaum that “in the spirit of giving . . . I shall perform a free cosmetic surgical procedure on someone in financial and physical need.”
He added: “In a subsequent newsletter, I will let you know how it all went and, if appropriate, include before-and-after pictures.”
Birnbaum’s newsletter also contained a gossipy section on new injection and implant procedures and which celebrities have taken advantage of such alterations. Arnold, say it ain’t so!
Alas, one toy that was removed from Christmas shelves was “Steve the Tramp,” the creepy-looking Walt Disney Co. doll that was based on a character in “Dick Tracy.” Disney heeded protests from homeless activists who were angered by the description of Steve as “hardened and bitter after a life on the mean streets . . . a lout who would just as soon take your life as your wallet.”
Steve, contact Dr. Birnbaum!
Even a black-and-white county sheriff’s bus had the holiday spirit, barreling down the Ventura Freeway with red-and-silver tinsel draped on the inside of its windshield. It was unlikely, however, that the mood was festive in the prisoners’ section, which was hidden behind tinted windows.
Now, a Christmas request for forgiveness. The other day we said that Dr. Joyce Brothers, the syndicated psychologist, answered a $64,000 question about boxing on a quiz show 45 years ago. The date was actually 1955. Needless to say, we’d have never chosen arithmetic for our category. We’re reasonably sure, however, that it anyone could cope with such a slight it would be Dr. Brothers.
After today, what is there to look forward to?
Why, the Tournament of Roses Parade, of course. You just never know what unannounced participant might show up on horseback, as Zsa Zsa Gabor (see photo), did last Jan. 1. No word on whether she drove her Rolls-Royce to the parade.
miscelLAny:
Warm thought: The first surfer in Southern California was Hawaiian native George Freeth, who was hired in 1907 to perform on his 200-pound, 8-foot-long wooden board in Redondo Beach as a tourist attraction.