He Was Asking a Pretty Penny, and It’s About All He’s Worth

The folks in Bellevue, Iowa, were looking for a way to raise money for a new library.

Chances are, they won’t name it after the person who suggested they invite Chicago Cub shortstop Shawon Dunston to sign autographs.

Columnist Mike Hlas of the Cedar Rapids Gazette wrote that Dunston agreed to a $4,300 appearance fee, then asked for another $1,200 four days before his scheduled arrival Dec. 9.

The Bellevue State Bank, which had agreed to underwrite the fee, forked over the $5,500.

On the big day, admission at the Bellevue High School gym was $2, and Dunston’s signature went for $7.

Hlas suggested a new autograph fee scale for such events: “Probable future saints, $7. Nobel Peace Prize winners and Susan Sarandon, $4. Athletes other than Shawon Dunston, two cents. Shawon Dunston, a penny.”

Add Bellevue: Wrote Hlas: “The first book to be placed in the new Bellevue library should be about recent town history. It would tell the story of how a bank got held up without a gun.”

Trivia time: Name the only player to win batting titles in his first two full seasons.

Or can you?: Ed O’Bradovich, the former Chicago Bear defensive end who played on the 1963 NFL championship team, recently told Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post:

“In 1963, all the offense had to score was 10 a game. We had unbelievable talent. Did we (the defense) ever ask ourselves, ‘Why aren’t we winning?’ We thought about it all the time. We made fun of the offense.

“I can remember times we’d come off the field while the offense was going onto the field and we would yell at them, something like, ‘Just hold them. Just give us a chance to rest and we’ll come get you. You guys stink.’ Of course you can’t do that today.”

Circle the wagons: Before the Pittsburgh Steelers’ final game of the season, against Houston, Pittsburgh Press columnist Gene Collier asked Steeler wide receiver Dwight Stone how the team’s offense at the end of the season differed from the offense in the second week, when it failed to score against the Oilers.

Said Stone: “About 360 degrees.”

Wrote Collier: “You were hoping for 180 degrees, but 360 might be closer. In other words, it might be right back where it started.”

Final score: Houston 34, Pittsburgh 14.

Trivia answer: Tony Oliva of the Minnesota Twins, who hit .323 in 1964, his rookie year, and .321 in 1965.

Quotebook: John Sneed, Cal State Fullerton basketball coach, when asked whether this year’s Nevada Las Vegas team can be beaten: “Everyone can be beaten. Mike Tyson can be beaten. But will Buster Douglas ever beat him again? I don’t think so.”