‘Military Kids’ Struggle With Sea of Emotions

While the combined air forces of the United States, Britain, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait were bombing Iraq on Thursday, the teen-agers who live at Camp Pendleton were being bombarded with a range of emotions.

At San Clemente High School, where about 150 students have parents deployed in the Persian Gulf and nearly 50 more have other relatives there, a trio of teens who spoke about their feelings Thursday shifted within minutes from anger to depression, from bravado to tears.

For senior Robert Moore, 17, the thought that his father might not return from the desert instantly changed his optimistic smile to fearful tears. For freshman Shanika Burns, 14, the thought that President Bush opted for war rather than continuing sanctions shifted her calm demeanor to rage. For Chris M., a 17-year-old senior who asked that his last name not be used, the thought of anti-war protesters changed the confident tone in his voice to quivering anger.

Conflicting emotions aside, all of the young people shared one feeling: absolute commitment to and support for their mothers and fathers.

“Most of the military kids I talk to have mixed feelings about whether there should or shouldn’t be a war, but all of them support their parents’ being over there,” said Loren O’Connor, San Clemente High School psychologist.

As far as these San Clemente teen-agers are concerned, anyone who doesn’t share in that support is to be either despised or pitied.

“I have a very big hatred for those (anti-war activists),” said Chris, whose father, a Marine gunnery sergeant, is stationed at the front. “ ‘No blood for oil’--that just makes me incredibly mad. That’s not what it’s all about. . . . If they (protesters) live in America, they should understand that freedom isn’t free.”

Burns, whose father, Staff Sgt. James Burns, is also at the front, said she thinks that “sanctions would have worked if they gave them a chance to work,” but added that Americans should rally around the troops now that war has started.

“I just feel sorry for (the protesters), that they can’t open up enough to support our troops,” she said.

Similar anger was expressed at a meeting Wednesday of all students with relatives in the gulf, which ironically took place just hours before the bombing of Iraq began.

“One young lady said about the peace demonstrators, ‘Where were they in August, September and October? That was the time to do it,’ ” said Principal Jim Krembas. “There was a feeling like, ‘you’re not supporting my dad. My dad’s putting his life on the line for you, and you’re not supporting him.’ ”

But what angered the teens even more, they said, was the dearth of information coming from the gulf. Although they all said they felt a sense of relief now that the war has begun, they continued to suffer from agonizing anticipation as they waited for a ground assault to begin in earnest.

“I just don’t want to get home and hear them say the camp (where his father is stationed) was overrun,” Chris said.

But there were far more ominous reasons besides sketchy news reports for the teen-agers to be edgy. There was the underlying, and barely spoken, fear that their parents might not come home again.

That fear was particularly strong in Moore, who has seen his father, Gunnery Sgt. Robert Moore Sr., just one day in the past year. The elder Moore had been deployed in Panama for the 1989 conflict there, and was sent to the Persian Gulf just hours after he returned to Camp Pendleton last June.

“He was trained to do this,” Moore responded when asked how he felt about his father’s presence at the front. “Yeah, I’m nervous and scared, but I’m not so much nervous and scared as people may think.”

But suddenly, as if the thought just hit him, Moore’s eyes welled up and tears dripped down his cheeks.

“This time I don’t know if he’s coming back,” said Moore, a basketball player who was on a bus with his teammates going to a game when he heard that war had begun.

But rather than allow their fear and anger to consume them, the students said they are coping by concentrating on their schoolwork and sticking close to their families.

In fact, the conflict may have strengthened their resolve to succeed and make their fathers proud. Shortly after hearing the news that the war had begun, Moore went on to his basketball game at El Toro High School, where he contributed to his team’s victory with 12 points and several clutch steals in the game against El Toro High. And Burns said she believes that the best thing she can do for her father is keep at her studies.

“I don’t watch the news, I just go home and do my homework,” she said. “My dad (before he left) said, ‘You might be grieving now, but your schoolwork is going to be there forever. Your grief is not going to help you get into college.’ ”