Fishy Story: A wacky story in the...

Fishy Story: A wacky story in the Sun tabloid gave comic relief to a warring White House. Headline: “George Bush Protected By Invisible Bodyguard.” The cover photo shows the President with a fishing rod in the surf, and next to him is a fishing rod suspended in mid-air. The story says the CIA cooked up a way to make people invisible. The paper found its way to an amused Bush, who is reported to have asked: “Who is this person?” Enquiring readers wanting to know whether to believe the story may put it into the same file as another story on the same page headlined: “I Went to Heaven and Met Elvis Presley.”

Portable Warrior: Refocusing on the war, the President carried a portable TV on a brief walk from the White House residence to the Oval Office so he would not miss a second of a televised briefing by Gulf allied commander Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf. As soon as he got to the Oval Office, Bush switched to a big TV set in time to see dramatic footage of the bombing of Baghdad. He was reported to exclaim: “Geez, look at that.”

Substitute Soldiers: Nearly 800 prisoners serving life sentences at two Michigan prisons want to fight in the war against Iraq. Their petition to Gov. John Engler asked for consideration of commutation of their sentences when they return. An Engler spokesman said Monday in Lansing, Mich.: “We’re not inclined to take them up on their offer.” Randy Seibert, 32, a murderer who helped circulate the petition, said: “I’d rather see someone my age go to any kind of conflict, rather than an 18-year-old.”

Improving: Eunice Shriver, sister of President Kennedy, underwent surgery to repair two broken arms suffered in a head-on collision last week in Baltimore. Shriver, 69, was in stable condition Monday but will need additional surgery to repair her hip socket. Police said her car crossed the center line Jan. 16 in Washington, D.C., and collided with a van, whose driver was not injured.