Widow Wants to Know How Marine Died

Saying the loss of her husband would be even harder to bear if it turns out that he was killed by allied gunfire, the widow of a Marine corporal nevertheless demanded Friday to know the results of an investigation into the deaths this week of 11 Marines.

In an emotional meeting with reporters at a hotel here, Carol Bentzlin clutched a drawing that 23-year-old Cpl. Stephen E. Bentzlin sketched of himself while in Saudi Arabia.

“My husband went in prepared to die,” she said tearfully. “It (the investigation) makes it seem more tragic. . . . I want to know. It’ll be harder, I imagine.”

Carol Bentzlin’s remarks followed reports Friday that a U.S. military team was investigating whether 11 Marines who died during a border skirmish with Iraqi forces were killed by a U.S. missile.

“We believe it didn’t happen, but we’re investigating to confirm it hasn’t happened,” said Maj. Doreen Burger, a spokeswoman at Marine Corps Headquarters in Washington. “It’s still strictly a rumor. If you’re grieving over the loss of your son or husband, that’s the last thing you want to hear.”

Bentzlin, however, was adamant about her desire to know the exact cause of her husband’s death.

Flanked by a friend, Leslie Kirkley, whom she described as her “rock,” and the Navy chaplain who delivered the news of her husband’s death Wednesday night, Bentzlin called the news conference “because I owe this to my husband. I want him to get all the glory he can.”

“There are no words,” she said. “He is a hero. They died for us.”

Wearing a gray dress and a simple gold necklace, she paused several times while answering reporters’ questions. Her eyes filled with tears as she described the late-night arrival of the chaplain, Navy Lt. Cmdr. Kerby Rich, on her Camp Pendleton doorstep.

“It was grotesque,” she said of the experience. “It made me sick, literally. But my wait is over. I don’t have to wait anymore.”

Before driving to Bentzlin’s home, Rich said, he and two Marine officers stopped to pray for the family, as is often customary in preparing for casualty calls.

“We prayed for Carol and everyone involved,” the Navy officer said. “We knocked at the door, and she was expecting us. Carol is an outstanding, typical Marine wife who loves her husband and loves her country.”

Bentzlin, 28, said her three children from a previous marriage were helping to support her in her grief. The youngest, 7-year-old Ricky, still thinks his stepfather will be coming home, while another son “thinks they should take him to the hospital and fix the hole.”

“I haven’t accepted my husband’s death. I can’t believe he’s not going to be home. I can’t believe it, all our dreams are gone. He was only 23 years old; he didn’t have a child of his own. It’s unfair. He really was a fantastic guy.”

She said she was upset when her husband, who was to be discharged in April, asked for a six-month extension of duty and then volunteered in August for service in Operation Desert Shield. She said he explained to her that Iraqi President Saddam Hussein should not be allowed to “just take Kuwait.”

“I was angry when he left,” she said, adding that she asked him if he wanted to move to Canada and avoid further service. “I tried to understand his patriotism. He convinced me. The only thing that keeps me breathing is that he wanted to do this.”

Before her husband’s departure, she said, they discussed the possibility that he would not return.

“We talked about what to do with his body. He wanted me to finish my education. He wanted to make sure I invested the insurance money so I wouldn’t do anything stupid. He told me how much he loved me.”

At the mere mention of Iraq or Hussein, Bentzlin’s voice rang with fury.

“From what we’ve seen so far, this man is insane! (Hussein) has caused the worst ecological disaster in the world and took my husband’s life. Get rid of them.”

Bentzlin said she expected that memorial services will be held in Southern California and in her husband’s native Wood Lake, Minn., when his body is returned but details were still pending.

For now, she said, she has asked the Marine Corps to permit her to remain at Camp Pendleton beyond the customary 90 days to allow her children to finish the school year.

Asked what more could be done to ease her grief, Bentzlin said she would relish a call from President George Bush.

“I wish he’d call me. He (Stephen Bentzlin) was my life.”

Times staff writer Ray Tessler in San Diego contributed to this report.