Aftermath of War : Families Plan 4-Star Homecomings : Camp Pendleton: As the first wave of Marines hits the home front, wives are planning romantic weekends in swank hotels or intimate evenings with a home-cooked meal and children.

They’re promising the Mother of All Homecomings.

Some, like Camp Pendleton wife Joey Bailey, plan on immediately sneaking away for a romantic, intimate night away from the kids. Bailey has reservations for a private bungalow along Mission Bay, where they’ll indulge themselves with room service.

“David’s got everything else planned--including what he wants me to wear that first night,” she said about her homeward-bound husband.

Maggie Karr of Oceanside says she’s going to “steal away” her husband, Master Sgt. Harry Karr, in a van and drive directly from Camp Pendleton to a bed-and-breakfast inn in San Diego. She hopes that, en route, he’ll discard his desert cammies in the van and put on a huge red, white and blue ribbon “covering just his main parts” before ducking into their hideaway, where she’ll then unwrap her present.

Others, like Cindy Negron of Fallbrook, figure the first night back should be spent at home with the children. So she’s going to order out for Chinese food while the family watches home videotapes of children’s birthday parties and baby’s first teeth--scenes her husband, Vincent, missed while in the Persian Gulf.

Some want to go public with their celebration--after an initial evening alone. Karyl Ketchum promises “to attack my husband--an attack he’ll appreciate.” But the next day, she’ll host a block party for her entire Oceanside neighborhood, “and let Ike jump into the pool that he hasn’t had a chance to swim in yet.”

So is La Costa’s Leigh Cortez, the wife of Col. Chris Cortez, the commanding officer of the 900-strong 1st Battalion 5th Marine Regiment of the 1st Marine Division.

It was his unit, the 5th, that retook Kuwaiti City International Airport from the Iraqis, amazingly without sustaining a single casualty. On Friday, he called his wife from Saudi Arabia, where he was turning over passenger manifest lists to planning officers scheduling the chartered 747s for return flights to March Air Force Base.

“We’re having a block party on Sunday,” Leigh Cortez said. “And everyone who has smiled to me during the last six months, I want them there to celebrate with me and my husband, to share this with us.”

Others just want to privately contemplate the end of the war and the long-awaited return of their husbands, some of whom have been gone for seven months.

“I just want to look at him,” Rita Hall said of her husband, Joel, a staff sergeant. “Look at him, and touch him, and make sure he’s real.”

She’s going to let their children plan the first dinner, she said. “It’s something they want to do really bad,” she said. “It may end up being hot dogs.”

Indeed, with varying elements of flair, romance and poignancy, the families of returning Marines are on the edge of their seats, ready to embrace loved ones who, beginning today and over the next several weeks or months, will be returning to Camp Pendleton, which sent nearly 30,000 Marines to the Persian Gulf.

Adding to the suspense was that, as late as Friday, families were still trying to learn if their Marines were on planes already headed home. “The information we’re hearing is changing every few hours,” one wife moaned.

“And some wives were saying they were hearing from Saudi that, even as planes were being loaded, another 50 guys would get on who aren’t officially on the manifest, so a lot of us won’t know until they’re here, on base.”

A spokesman at Camp Pendleton on Friday said the entire 1st Battalion of the 5th Marines is due back this weekend--many, if not all, today, along with 250 troops of the Brigade Service Support Group 7 of the 1st Force Service Support Group.

The units were expected to fly into March Air Force Base and then be bused to Camp Pendleton. The first were expected to arrive at the base this afternoon, and continue arriving through the evening, and again on Sunday.

On Friday, wives were cleaning house, shopping for their husbands’ favorite foods, swarming over Oceanside for the last few spools of yellow ribbon, buying helium tanks for balloons, and primping themselves for The First Embrace.

Arlene Pitchford, 33, said she was enlisting six girlfriends for an outing to the Plaza Camino Real shopping mall in Carlsbad today. First stop: Victoria’s Secret, a woman’s intimate-wear boutique. “Then we’ll have lunch, get our nails done, have a facial,” she said.

But she’ll pass on the mascara. “I know that when I see him, I’m just going to cry,” she said of her husband, Staff Sgt. Levantes Pitchford.

She said her Oceanside church’s pastor was paying for two nights’ hotel accommodations for each of the congregation’s seven Marine families, and she was debating between a swanky hotel in San Diego or Los Angeles.

Others were more concerned about primping their husbands.

“I’ve already been to Kmart to buy toiletries,” said Julia Nightingale, who hasn’t seen her husband, Staff Sgt. Charles Nightingale, since April 1 when he was deployed first to Twentynine Palms, then to Okinawa and finally to Saudi Arabia.

“I’ve got mouthwash, soap, deodorant, shaving cream and a razor--and I want him to use each one of those before he gets in the car,” she laughed. She’s also bought new underwear for her husband “since he took all that he had with them.”

She said the couple will spend the first few nights at home, with an initial dinner of lasagna, garlic bread and chocolate cake. Later, they’ll go to Catalina Island for a weekend to relax. “We need to get to know each other again,” she said, smiling.

Maribel Yahn, who, like Nightingale, lives on base at Camp Pendleton, said the house is decked out with balloons and yellow ribbons. Awaiting husband Cpl. Ron Yahn will be new clothes, carefully laid out on his bed.

“Nice dress-up outfits,” she said of her purchases. “And there will be a box on the bed for him to unwrap, too. It’ll be things he’ll like to see me wear.”

But the first night will be at home, she said. “I’ll be all dressed up, and the kids, too, and we’ll put yellow ribbons on Ron’s dog, Prince. But I figure for the first night, we’ll stay home and have pizza, watch movies and just talk. Ron’s a stay-home guy.”

Robbie Calaway said she has already been given advance notice by her husband, Sgt. Robert Calaway, to have a Mexican feast waiting for his return. After a few days, they’ll book a cruise to Mexico, then visit family in Texas before continuing on--just the two of them--for a few days’ vacation in New Orleans.

Besides the Mexican food, Calaway sent additional orders home to prepare for his return. “Our bedroom is upstairs, next to the kids’, and the baby’s been sleeping in the bedroom downstairs,” she said. “He told me to put the baby upstairs, and for us to use the downstairs bedroom, so we won’t bother them.”

Diana Morgan on Friday was decorating her home on base with crepe paper and welcome-home banners for her husband, Staff Sgt. Peter D. Morgan. The night he returns, she’ll send the children to spend the night at the neighbors. She’ll then prepare him a homecoming dinner of salad with ranch dressing, pan-fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, homemade biscuits, corn on the cob, applesauce and carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.

She said she’ll be wearing a slinky cocktail dress. “I bought it for the time he came home from his last deployment, last August. But he got home at midnight, and had to leave the next morning for Saudi,” she said. “So now, I’ll finally be able to wear it for him.”

“And I’ve got some other surprises to wear for him, too,” she added, giggling.

Pat Snook was so nervous Friday about her husband’s homecoming--today, she believes--that she took the day off.

“I spent $200 on groceries,” she said. “His favorites. Roast beef. Steak. Beer--Miller draft. Ice cream. But when he called me on Wednesday, he said the first thing he wants is a pizza.”

Pat Antosh of Oceanside was planning the homecoming of her husband of 12 years, Maj. Steve Antosh, with a mix of drudgery, reality and romance.

“I’m cleaning house and balancing the checkbook,” she said. After a pause, she added: “We’re going to renew our marriage vows.”

Times staff writer Ray Tessler contributed to this article.