I have the following advice for males who lack the shopping gene. As the hapless victim of many an interminable mall expedition with ex-wives or varied female companions, I have learned to fight back.
Upon leaving at long last what seems to be the last clothing store in the mall, I casually inform my sated female companion that I would like to "stop off in the bike shop for a moment."
In the bicycle shop, I proceed to minutely examine every exotic racing bike on the rack. Gear rations, handlebars, tires, gearshifts and paint jobs are all carefully assessed.
As my companion begins to shift restlessly, I stride over to the mountain bike department and give each bike there a thorough checking.
A discussion with the proprietor of Fausto Coppi's exploits in the 1948 Tour de France can often prolong a "moment" at the bike shop into an hour and a half.
It isn't that we males lack a shopping gene. We're just being led into the wrong stores.
CHARLES KING, Santa Monica