Start Spreading the Boos : Struggling Strawberry Is Set for Emotional Return to Shea Stadium Tonight

Home runs, apparently, are not the only thing Darryl Strawberry has been hiding from us.

Deep within him are anger and resentment that have been quietly building since he left the New York Mets to join the Dodgers six months ago. The cheerful, ever-smiling outfielder apparently has suppressed these feelings while suffering through the worst start of his career.

But today, when Strawberry visits New York’s Shea Stadium with the Dodgers for the first time since he left the Mets, he plans to let his feelings show.

When he takes the field, he will hear the boos and insults of fans he believes never appreciated him. He will look across the diamond into the faces of former teammates he believes betrayed him.

And finally, he said, he will hand the controls to his emotions.

“Let me tell you, I am going to be pumped up . . . very pumped up,” Strawberry said recently. “My adrenaline is going to be working hard. I am going to be ready to play.”

Strawberry said he will put on his game face from the time he leaves his Long Island home for the familiar 20-minute drive to Shea Stadium for the first of a two-game series.

He said he will not follow recent baseball tradition by visiting his old teammates in the Mets’ clubhouse before the game.

“I will not go out of my way to talk to my old teammates, no way,” Strawberry said. “There has been a lot of negative feedback from them since I’ve left, and I’ve heard every bit of it.

“A lot of guys on that team have been saying they are better off without me. After all I did for them, how can they say that? It’s like, I leave, and they give me a whack in the face. Why?”

Strawberry chuckled.

“Everybody there has been taking their shots at me. Well, I’m going to let them know I play for the Dodgers now. Believe me, they will know.”

The Dodgers hope so. Strawberry has just suffered through the worst April in his career. The Dodgers hope that a return to the scene of his stormy past will also mark the return of their missing slugger.

In his previous seven Aprils, Strawberry hit .303 while averaging five homers and 12 runs batted in.

This year, Strawberry hit. 246 with one homer and seven RBIs in April.

Guess which other Dodger has one homer and seven RBIs? Brett Butler.

The man who traditionally hits home runs in bunches has seen his problems come in bunches. When Strawberry steps to the plate against left-hander Frank Viola today, he will be in a one-for-21 slump with a .114 average against left-handers.

He has struck out 11 times during those 21 at-bats, at least once in each of his past eight games. He has struck out 27 times in 84 at-bats.

And it appears that he has lost not only a command of the strike zone, but some of his aggressiveness.

When he struck out a major league record-tying five consecutive times against Montreal last week, what most disturbed the Dodgers was that he took two strikes in each of his first four at-bats, and struck out twice looking.

He ended Saturday’s 4-3 defeat in Philadelphia by leaving the tying and lead runs on base while looking at another third strike.

“I have to make my approach a little more aggressive,” said Strawberry, who has been the portrait of mellow since his celebrated turn to Christianity. “I’ve changed my life and I’ve been a little laid back. I have to get to a point where I’m relaxed and aggressive but not anxious.”

Strawberry said he knows his new teammates are waiting.

“A lot of guys on the team are probably wondering about me,” Strawberry said. “They see me smile. They see me not arguing with the umpire. They see me calmly coming back to the dugout after striking out and they are asking themselves, ‘How can he not be mad?’

“It’s OK, they can wonder. Because I know what will eventually happen. I know I will start connecting. I just know it.”

Will his return to New York give Strawberry the jump start he seems to need? He began spring training play with a blast by homering against the Mets in the second exhibition.

“This is one of those things that could get him going, just like in spring training,” said teammate Gary Carter, also formerly of the Mets. “When we got to Port St. Lucie for that first game this spring, I saw something in Darryl’s eyes, this incredible intensity. This could happen again.

“And believe me, if Darryl goes off in New York, he will get so hot, it will be scary.”

At least some people in New York still need Strawberry. The papers have already been feasting on his return, with stories about it having appeared Monday on the front of the sports pages.

At least one newspaper has been running a “Strawberry Watch,” in which his daily statistics are displayed in a box. Another is conducting a telephone poll on whether the fans will cheer him or boo him.

Strawberry said he can predict the results.

“I fully expect to be booed,” he said. “Some things do not change. They’ll boo, and I’ll smile.

“The booing won’t hurt because, to me, they never understood what Darryl Strawberry was all about anyway. And they never will.”

Said Barry Lyons, another former Met, “I hope they give him some respect. But it will be asking a lot of New York.”

Strawberry said he suspects he is even being booed in the Mets’ executive offices.

When asked whether he thinks Met officials have been monitoring his slow start, he said, “I know they love that. But they have to see me Tuesday night. Things could be different by them. And I will be smiling at them.”

Well, he may not be smiling at General Manager Frank Cashen.

“Mr. Cashen said I never reached my potential,” Strawberry said. “What, one player doesn’t have a good enough year, so his team doesn’t win? That’s ridiculous. How many other players were carrying teams for a month like I did?

“Frank said they’ll be better without me. I hope they are. I’ll be better without them.”

Strawberry’s appearance is such an event, the Mets have spent the past several days commenting on it. A typical response came from Howard Johnson, after his home run defeated the San Francisco Giants last weekend.

“We lost one piece, but we added several others,” Johnson said of Strawberry’s departure. “I think we’re a better team without him.”

And Johnson was considered one of Strawberry’s supporters.

“Sometimes, I think all of this is just a test for me, just to see how I can handle it,” Strawberry said quietly. “Well let me tell you, I can handle it. I will handle it.

“Everybody in New York is waiting to see what this ‘new’ Darryl Strawberry is like. I can’t wait to show them.”

In other words, he hopes to finally play like the old one.

Times staff writer Alan Drooz contributed to this story.