MAKING IT WORK : Some Steps to Help Prevent Burnout

Care-givers tend to become so involved in meeting the needs of their loved ones that they may not even realize they are burned out, says Steve Prather, executive director of the South Coast Institute for Applied Gerontology in Costa Mesa.

They need help themselves when they neglect their own health and physical appearance, feel depressed, sleep more than usual, abuse alcohol or drugs, become isolated or feel guilty whenever they take time out, says Prather, a marriage and family therapist who leads a care-giver support group at the Harbor Area Adult Day Care Center.

He suggests the following steps to help prevent burnout:

* Set achievable goals and take one step at a time so you won’t be overwhelmed.

* Learn to say no. Don’t give beyond your ability to maintain your own emotional and physical well-being.

* Pace yourself. Hurrying through tasks so you can get more done just adds to your stress.

* Anticipate the ways in which your situation will change as your loved one’s illness progresses.

* Examine the feelings you have in response to each change so you won’t be paralyzed by fear or guilt.