MAKING IT WORK : Rejection: How to Avoid It, and How to Handle It

Men who’ve mastered the macho image may be better at hiding their insecurities than women, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less susceptible to the fear of rejection that plagues so many singles.

Marti Monroe, a marriage, family and child counselor who practices in Santa Ana and Huntington Beach, offers the following suggestions to help men reduce the risk of rejection and remain sure of themselves even after a woman says no:

* Don’t move too quickly. Be sensitive to the signals she’s giving you. If you get ahead of her, you’re setting yourself up for rejection.

* Don’t expose yourself to more rejection than you can handle; ask only when you know you wouldn’t be devastated by a negative response.

* Don’t take it personally when a woman turns you down. She may be unavailable for reasons that have nothing to do with you.

* Remember that it takes two people who are equally enthusiastic to make a relationship work. If you are rejected by someone you feel strongly about, she’s doing you a favor by being honest about her feelings before you get more deeply involved.