Mid-’91 Scorecard: Hits, Errors, Hot Dogs

With the All-Star break upon us, now seems a good time to pause and reflect on the kind of year it’s been so far--to check the team standings, savor the high and low lights, acknowledge a few feats before they’re forgotten.

I speak not of major league baseball, of course, but of major studio movies--the other national pastime, the game anyone can play, as long as they look like Kevin Costner or Julia Roberts, or have $50 million lying around that they wouldn’t mind losing on a Bruce Willis movie.

Bruce Willis. Poor guy’s having a worse year than Darryl Strawberry. Up twice--in “Mortal Thoughts” and “Hudson Hawk”--and struck out both times. No All-Star appearance for him. Take the week off, Bruce. Take a year.

Here are a few others who didn’t make the 1991 team:

* Dan Aykroyd, who was flying high just a year ago after receiving an Oscar nomination for his performance in “Driving Miss Daisy,” only to bomb with his directorial debut of the prophetically titled “Nothing but Trouble.”

* Brian Bosworth, the former Seattle Seahawks linebacker whose movie career as an action star in Columbia’s “Stone Cold” was stone dead at the box office. Bye, Boz. Maybe wrestling?

* Kim Basinger, the actress-airhead-small- town owner who, during the stormy production of “The Marrying Man,” wondered out loud why in hell they couldn’t find a writer who knows something about comedy. Neil Simon, who wrote the script, walked off the set and never came back.

* Madonna, who showed off her bra and panties for paparazzi before the opening of “Truth or Dare” at the Cannes Film Festival, nearly causing the dreaded Photo Riot and forcing French security to close off all entrances to the theater. Among those locked out were Madonna’s own guests, one of whom reportedly designed her underwear.

* Andrew Dice Clay, who gave bad taste a bad name in his concert film “Dice Rules.” First “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane,” now this. Yo, snake eyes, Dice Man. Zip up and get out!

Heading into the All-Star break, 20th Century Fox ranks first in the Major Studio League with a 1.3-percentage-point market share lead over upstart Orion and a 2.3-percentage-point lead over third place Warner Bros. Universal, Disney, Columbia, Tri-Star and once-mighty Paramount rank fourth through eighth, respectively. MGM, despite its critically praised “Thelma & Louise,” is now playing Double-A ball with the independents, among whom it ranks second behind the “Ninja Turtles” people, New Line Cinema.

The league standings, with approximate market share, in percent, through the first six months of 1991: 1. Fox (16.3); 2. Orion (15); 3. Warner Bros. (14); 4. Universal (13); 5. Disney (12); 6. Columbia (8); 7. Tri-Star (7); 8. Paramount (6).

Our ESPN analysis of the standings:

* Fox rode to the top on the shoulders of MacCaulay Culkin (“Home Alone”) and Julia Roberts (“Sleeping With the Enemy”) and will soon see its lead vanish. Its other Roberts vehicle, “Dying Young,” is failing fast, and the rest of the studio’s summer lineup looks lean. (When the Fox movie division has to tap the TV division for a star--”Married With Children’s” Ed O’Neill crosses over in the upcoming movie “Dutch”--it is, as O’Neill might put it himself, in the deep doo-doo.)

* Orion’s No. 2 ranking is why you should think twice before investing in movie company stocks. The New York-based company got a first-half infusion of cash from the success of “Dances With Wolves” and “The Silence of the Lambs” but was still trying to sell off some unreleased films to pay bills.

* Disney has been keeping its costs down, just as manager Sparky Katzenberg urged studio execs in the notorious pep-memo that surfaced in January, but you get what you pay for, and with the exception of “What About Bob?” and “The Rocketeer,” the studio has been in its worst slump in five years and has little to look forward to. (We’re all on a budget, Sparks, but “Blame It on the Bellboy” with Bronson Pinchot and Dudley Moore?)

* Tri-Star is about to scoot right up the chart, perhaps all the way to No. 1, on the strength of “Terminator 2.” The movie may gross $300 million, and Arnold Schwarzenegger has promised to give whatever proceeds he doesn’t need to the studio.

* Paramount, as they say, is under new management. Frank Mancuso, who fought for more than 15 years to get “Godfather III” made, got the bum’s rush from Paramount chief Martin Davis earlier this year and was replaced by occasionally successful independent producer Stanley Jaffe and very successful (but who cares, it’s a different medium) TV mogul Brandon Tartikoff. Hmmph.

Notice to Oscar voters: Yeah, the deadline for eligibility is still nearly six months off, but because you often forget the first half of the year, please try to remember:

* Anthony Hopkins, as best supporting actor for his mesmerizing performance as serial killer-psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter in “The Silence of the Lambs.” (The movie is worth remembering too, along with Jodie Foster’s performance as FBI trainee Clarice Starling.)

* Samuel L. Jackson, in the same category for his performance as Gator Purify, the drug-addicted brother of Wesley Snipes in “Jungle Fever.” Jackson already won an acting award at Cannes, but that should not be held against him.

Left-at-the-Altar Boy of the Year: Kiefer Sutherland.

Line of the Year, So Far: In “The Rocketeer,” Paul Sorvino, playing a mob boss in 1938 L.A., upon discovering he’s working for a Nazi: “I may not earn an honest buck, but I’m 100% American.”