STAGE REVIEW : ‘Wall of Water’ Barely a Trickle

It’s not clear what the title “The Wall of Water” has to do with this embattled “visiting production” by Sherry Kramer at the Coast Playhouse, but there is a real shower stall in which a screechy character (Dorothy Lyman) finds solace under the dripping shower head.

Despite the efforts of director Renee Taylor (replacing another director), a sparkling party-gal turn by man-hungry Daisy Hall, and an artfully cluttered, tantalizing Gotham apartment set designed by Melanie Paizis, “The Wall of Water” splatters on stage like a water balloon hurled off an Upper West Side window ledge.

Kramer’s agent has charged that his client “disavowed” the L.A. production, claiming her conditions were violated by the local producers. But she waited until after the opening weekend to make her statement. Commissioned to write this play for Yale Rep two years ago, she isn’t blameless. The inane plot and lines are hers.

Four women share a lavish apartment with a great view of Central Park. One of the them (Cindy Ballou) makes life hell for the others with her multiple personalities, particularly her fixation on anything Asiatic (a towering Hurrell photo of Anna Mae Wong dominates her room and it’s the best thing in the show).

Basically, there’s no wit, no momentum, no comical arc, no human connection. The bathroom farce gets old fast. You find yourself tuning out the fractured dialogue (including characters who mindlessly talk to themselves). A brainless medic with a crotch complex is grueling to endure.

Some of the actors are fine (allergist Robin Strasser, lover Jeff Hayenga, the aforementioned Hall). But others--the frenetic, one-note Lyman and the equally tiresome medic, Leslie Jordan, and Ballou--fail to kill the pain.

There’s no mystery about what went wrong here. The mystery is why nobody saw the carnage early. As for the playwright, it’s easy to complain after the fact.

* “The Wall of Water,” Coast Playhouse, 8325 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, Thursdays - Saturdays, 8 p.m., Sundays, 2:30 p.m., 7 p.m. Ends Aug. 4. $17.50-$22.50; (213) 650-8507. Running time: 2 hours, 15 minutes.