U.S. OLYMPIC FESTIVAL LOS ANGELES 1991 : Hey, Harry Shearer, It’s No Laughing Matter : Rebuttal: Synchronized swimming made for good TV comedy, but enough is enough, say festival participants to critics.

To: Harry Shearer

From: Karen and Sarah Josephson

Re: Your opinion of synchronized swimming

Guys, lose the life jacket, venture into the deep end and try floating upside down underwater for 30 seconds while keeping your legs in a vertical position above water. Then, we’ll talk.

The Harry Shearer and Martin Short synchronized swimming routine in a 1984 “Saturday Night Live” skit did not incense Karen Josephson as much as Shearer’s contention in today’s Times that the sport is not, well, a sport.

For comedy, she gives them high marks. But she can’t say the same for their artistic impression of synchronized swimmers.

“That was not a 0.5, not even a .01,” Josephson said, adding that she thought the skit was hilarious when she saw it for the first time because it involved people who can’t swim doing a swimming sport.

Sarah Josephson, equally stunned by the comedian’s comments, can’t believe that he actually watched tapes of synchronized swimming at the 1984 Summer Olympics.

“How could he watch those tapes and think it is not a sport?” she said. “How can he stand in the shallow end with a life vest on and compare it to what we do? He saw the smiles and the attractive women. He didn’t focus on the athleticism and the degree of difficulty.”

The smiles contribute to misconceptions about synchronized swimming, said the twins from Bristol, Conn., who won silver medals at the 1988 Summer Olympics, became world champions earlier this year and, on Saturday at USC’s McDonald’s Swim Stadium, received five perfect scores of 10.0 to win gold medals at the U.S. Olympic Festival for the second consecutive year.

It would be more natural for them to huff and puff and grimace when they rise to the surface. But their fans, and more important, the judges would rather see smiles. Presentation and showmanship are factored into the scores.

“In a four-minute routine, we are underwater for 2 1/2 minutes, and, when we come up for air, we can’t rest, and, yeah, we have smiles,” Karen said. “It is not attractive to see someone gasp for air and look like they are not going to make it.”

Although Karen appreciates every second of television coverage that comes her sport’s way, she blames its close-up shots for depicting the athletes as aqua ballerinas.

“When you are trying to reach an audience that is 10 yards away, your makeup is going to be a little heavier and your smile a little bigger than what you need from a foot away,” she said. “So everything is exaggerated on TV.

“He (Shearer) seems to think that artistic sports don’t belong in the Olympics. I guess he thinks figure skating and gymnastics should be out. He seems to think the Olympics are only for those who run the fastest or throw the farthest. I wish we could get him into a pool.”

The Josephsons said that their sport requires hours of repetition to perfect. With 28 different moves in the compulsory portion alone, the twins practice up to four hours a day in the water.

Their training regimen also includes underwater and competitive lap swimming, as well as running and cycling to increase their breath control and endurance. Three times a week, they lift weights to improve their strength. They also take dance lessons to enhance posture and hand positions.

Synchronized swimming can be dangerous, they said. Lifeguards are posted at practices and meets because some competitors pass out on 60-second underwater routines.

The sport also can be painful, particularly the eight-person team event. It is not uncommon to be kicked in the face or the chest by a teammate. Some participants have smacked heads underwater.

While figure skating’s difficult jumps are emphasized every time a skater falls, synchronized swimming’s mistakes are not apparent to the untrained eye.

“We also fall on our spins,” Karen said. “We just don’t land on our butts. Our legs just tip over. It looks like a drunken person.”

The twins said that they are tired of defending their sport to the media at every major competition, including the Festival. But Sarah said that she believes perceptions are changing.

“Sportswriters who’ve seen it appreciate it,” Sarah said. “Ten years ago, half the media didn’t think it was a sport. Now, 75% of them agree that it is a sport.”

P.S. Harry, don’t forget to smile.