Virtue Is No Longer Its Own Sports Reward

Reports that Raider rookie quarterback Todd Marinovich can collect a bonus if he does not test positive for drugs could actually be the vanguard of a whole new wave of incentives in future sports contracts.

What if somebody had thought of this sooner? Think of it: athletes getting bonuses for not doing anything illegal. Or at least, for not doing anything for which they could wind up in court.

Mike Tyson could collect for not sparring with parking lot attendants.

Jose Canseco could collect for not speeding.

Pete Rose could collect for not betting.

Leon Spinks could collect for not driving.

Steve Garvey could collect for not dating.

Teed off: George F. Johnson, 67, and his wife Jeanne M. Johnson, 64, are suing Richard Dresden, 63, who was in the foursome behind them at the Sun City Center South Golf Course in Tampa, Fla. The Johnsons say Dresden kept hitting his drives without waiting for them to get out of the way.

After Johnson warned Dresden he would throw his ball into the lake if he hit into their group again, Dresden shook Johnson, who fell backward off the elevated eighth tee and suffered a sprained neck, according to a $100,000 lawsuit filed by Johnson. Dresden claims he was the one who was struck.

Trivia time: Seven years ago today, who earned his 200th save in his 409th appearance, the quickest pace in major league history?

Dept. of Dumb Records: In Halifax, Nova Scotia, Ashrita Furman, 36, did 2,693 knee bends, or squats, in an hour, breaking his previous Guiness Book of World Records mark of 2,551.

The last time Furman was in Canada, he scaled the staircase of Toronto’s CN Tower on a pogo stick.

But what’s his IRA?: Former Philadelphia Phillie Dave LaPoint has pitched for eight other teams. “When I retire, I can make a living playing in old-timers’ games,” LaPoint said. “I’ll be able to go to nine of them, and they pay $2,000 a game.”

Start spreading the news: Are you ready for George Foreman, singer? Home Box Office has hired Foreman to be host of his own entertainment special, but there seems to be some kind of conflict as to exactly what kind of show it will be.

HBO wants Foreman to do comedy. Foreman wants to sing.

“If they’re going to (get) me up there before an audience and with a microphone, then I want to sing,” he said. “They’re going to put the camera on and think the jokes are coming out, and I’m going to sing. I want to be a singer.”

Foreman went on to say he is going to try to develop what he called a “TV style” of his own. “. . . It’s going to be between Howard Cosell and ‘Amos ‘n Andy,’ ” he said.

Tony II: A new recruit for Pittsburgh is 5-foot-11, 165-pound defensive back Anthony Dorsett from Dallas. Sound familiar? He is Tony Dorsett’s son.

Pigskin preview: For what it’s worth, Ty Detmer of Brigham Young is the first junior Heisman Trophy winner to return for his senior season since Billy Sims of Oklahoma in 1978.

Trophy case: Six Arab states have postponed next February’s Gulf Cup soccer tournament for seven months while they try to recover the trophy that was stolen by Iraq from Cup winner Kuwait.

Cowabunga, dude: Cyclist Greg LeMond is a favorite among the French although he hails from Wayzata, Minn. The French have embraced LeMond not only because of his riding skill, but because of his command of the French language.

At the 11th stage of the Tour de France in Quimper, a French farmer gave LeMond a calf, which LeMond felt forced to decline.

“After looking at its face, I don’t know if I could eat it,” he told broadcaster Brian Drebber in French.

Trivia answer: The Kansas City Royals’ Dan Quisenberry.

Quotebook: From promoter Bob Arum after Foreman missed out on a rematch with Evander Holyfield: “Boxing stinks, and we all know it.”