Time Slips Away for 1 Charger : Football: Receiver Searcy knows his days are numbered, but he is not willing to end his bid to play in the NFL.

The Chargers had the day off Sunday, but wide receiver Elliott Searcy chose to remain by himself at training camp.

“I don’t want to live a lie,” he said while doing his laundry. “I don’t want to go to the beach and pretend everything is all right. It’s not.”

Like so many other fine athletes, Searcy came to training camp three weeks ago believing he had what it took to make it in the National Football League.

He practiced twice a day, studied at night and prepared himself for the Chargers’ first exhibition game--his big opportunity to be discovered.

He stood there Saturday night ready to play--football in his hands--and he stood there and he stood there.

“Going into the game I was told they were going to try and work out the repetitions equally,” he said. “I went into the locker room at halftime and started focusing on what I was going to do. I thought I was going to get in; I stretched really good.

“Later, I’m telling myself, OK, there’s a minute to go in the game and I can still get in and score. I’m saying that to myself and I’m tuned into what’s happening . . . until the clock runs out.”

The Chargers walked off the field with a 31-29 exhibition victory over the Houston Oilers, and Searcy returned to the locker room to take off his clean uniform.

“My mother told me to call her and let her know how the game went,” he said. “By the time I got back to camp, it was about 1:15 a.m. back home in Louisiana. I told her the truth, I never got on the field.

“She said, ‘Keep believing and keep your head up,’ and really that’s all I needed to hear.”

Searcy, however, doesn’t appear to have a chance of making it with the Chargers. He never did.

It was that way from day one of training camp, and it likely will become official Aug. 20, when NFL teams are required to reduce their rosters to 60.

Every year players like Searcy come and go. But you can’t convince Searcy. He still thinks he’s competing for an NFL job. He still thinks he has a chance.

“My goal is to play in the National Football league,” he said, “and I’m not going to give up just because things look tough.”

Things look hopeless. The Chargers have four returning veterans at wide receiver. They invested money in a Plan B veteran free agent and they drafted three wide receivers.

Searcy didn’t even play Saturday night. He is lost at the bottom of the depth chart. The club misspelled his first name in its media guide and his last name in Saturday’s handouts.

While Searcy watched, Kitrick Taylor got his opportunity and caught three passes for 42 yards. Troy Kyles caught a touchdown pass, and rookie Yancey Thigpen, who reported to training camp late, hauled in a touchdown.

“I felt I could beat the odds with a fair shot,” Searcy said. “I don’t think I’m doing anything to hurt myself. I’m not dropping the ball, I’m not making mental errors. I guess it’s just a matter of being in the right place.”

Every year NFL teams bring a group of free agents to camp to fill out their rosters. They get some practice time early on, but when the veterans report to camp the free agents are shuffled to the background as disaster insurance.

Every one in camp recognizes the players who will come and go. They are ignored in team meetings. They are known by their number rather than by their name. They can no longer be saved by even great play.

In the past few weeks Searcy’s opportunity to make a great play has vanished. In recent workouts when the offense and defense have gone 11-on-11, Searcy has watched from the sideline with other players like himself who already have been written off by the coaching staff.

As good as Searcy knows he is, he worries now that the team might never know.

“I chose this profession and it means a lot to me,” said Searcy, who has a degree in business marketing. “I tossed and turned all night after the game and it ate at me because of not playing. A lot of people just see the glamorous side of this game; they don’t see what goes into just trying to make it.

“Things do look bad, but that’s not going to stop me from going out and giving 110% every day on every play,” he said. “You could easily lose heart, but I’m not going to let that happen.”

Searcy was a 12th-round draft choice of the Chargers last season and made it through the cut to 60. A day later, however, the Chargers traded for offensive lineman Mike Zandofsky and somebody had to go.

“I took it hard; it was the first time I had been cut in anything,” said Searcy, who played at Southern University. “For a week or two I wasn’t with it. Then I started working out again knowing this was what I wanted to do.”

Like so many other free agents who refuse to get the message, Searcy has returned to be cut again.

“I know God blessed me with talent and I just have to get a fair shot,” he said. “If I was trying to encounter this on my own, I would pull out. But I have strong faith. I have to have patience; my time will come.”

The time is coming for him to leave.

“I may be out here (Aug. 20),” he said, “but I can’t get caught up into the thing, ‘Ah, well, it’s all over.’ I’m going to go out and work hard this week; that’s the only thing I know. I’m not a quitter.”