Amen, Brother--You Only Hurt the One You Love

This being the Sabbath, it must be time for some irreverent religious satire.

So says Mike Yaconelli, a Christian minister and San Diego refugee who for 20 years has been editing “The Door,” a stick-it-in-your eye satire magazine specializing in the follies of the devout.

Call his slick bimonthly the Evangelical National Lampoon, and Yaconelli won’t mind.

Call it the Religious Mad Magazine and he’ll be downright pleased.

It’s not unusual to see the figure of a minister in a hockey mask with chain saw in “The Door.” Or an uppity profile of television minister Gene Scott:

“Dr. Gene is the kind of guy you’d want with you in a dark alley facing a truckload of muggers. First, he’d glare them into a state of fear, then he’d break a beer bottle and slash his way outta there. Dr. Gene is the Rambo of TV preachers.”

Or a report from the National Religious Broadcasters Convention:

“Swarming around me in the cafeteria were women who were wearing makeup by Mary Kay. The men had all discovered power ties and the joy of hair spray.”

Or an exclusive: “Bigfoot Professes Christ at Billy Graham Crusade.” A regular feature is a cartoon called “Dogs Who Know the Lord.”

Not all are pleased. A recent drawing of Jesus watching a couple in bed brought 700 cancellations.

Without advertising, and with circulation ($19.95 a year) at 10,000, the future is iffy. There is talk of folding in the next year if things don’t pick up.

Yaconelli tends a small flock in Yreka and does his editing by fax, phone and overnight letter. “The Door” publisher is Youth Specialities Inc. of El Cajon.

Reality is sometimes a problem for “The Door.”

“With Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart,” Yaconelli said, “it’s sometimes like, gee, we don’t need to do it (satirize the church), they’re doing it themselves.”

Through it all, Yaconelli, 49, insists that his heart burns only with the zeal of the true reformer.

“I think satire is most effective when you love the thing you’re satirizing, rather than hate it or have a vendetta against it.”

Lots of Hoop-la

I sing the city electric.

* Slam-dunk art.

African-American artist and MacArthur Fellowship recipient David Hammons brings his “Rousing the Rubble” exhibit this week to the San Diego Museum of Contemporary Art.

Among other things, Hammons incorporates basketball hoops in his sculptures to make his point about ghetto life and sports.

For Saturday’s preview at the museum, Hammons is recruiting high school and college players for a three-on-three game using the sculpture-hoops, with live jazz music as background.

* Smart talk.

Stuart Reges, fired in May from the engineering faculty at Stanford University after writing federal anti-drug coordinator Bob Martinez that he delights in carrying drugs on campus, comes here Monday to address San Diego Libertarians.

Having his academic career go down in flames has not dulled Reges’ oddball sense of fun.

His topic: “My Excellent Adventure With Czar Bob. Or: What’s a Four-Letter Word for Despot?”

* San Diego bumper sticker: “Eat Right, Stay Fit and Die Anyway!”

* In June, the L.A. Police Department announced it will no longer use the martial-arts weapon nunchakus on anti-abortion protesters .

That prompted the San Diego PD to announce a review of its own nunchakus policy.

Now it ‘ s complete: No change in the SDPD policy “at this time.” Nunchakus can still be used here to invoke “pain compliance” if protesters won’t move .

* Both sides are officially mum, but word is that Channel 10 commentator Herb Cawthorne paid about $8,500 to settle the lawsuit against him by the Urban League, from his days as league president.

Alcohol and the Brain

North County bumper sticker: “Alcohol and Mathematics Don’t Mix. Don’t Drink and Derive.”