MOVIE REVIEW : ‘Bingo’: Bow-Wow

“Bingo” (citywide) is a movie that shouldn’t happen to a dog--or an audience, either. It’s one more example of how witlessly even the most charming movie cliches can get deformed: a ‘90s-style “Lassie Come Home,” transplanted to the era of “The Simpsons,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “The NFL Today.”

A cute dog, a cute kid (Robert Steinmiller Jr.), separated--like Lassie and Roddy McDowall--by miles and complications. How can you go wrong with that? See “Bingo” and find out.

Dog movies get a certain automatic increment of good will if their canine stars are attractive. So “Bingo” starts off with a huge advantage: the star himself, who was named, apparently, to cash in on the omnipresent kid’s song “Bingo.” A charismatic mutt--part border collie, part whatever--with a limpid stare, he performs the most outlandish stunts with a natural’s panache.

He has to. Most of what Bingo is required to do is preposterous. Among other feats of dog derring-do, he rescues drowning children, engineers two prison breaks, woos a pedigreed spaniel with a bottle of champagne, drives a pickup, follows his master cross-country by a trail of urine, and figures out square roots. He even accomplishes something many humans can’t: He gets the police on the phone--by dialing 911 with his nose and tapping out a message in Morse code. Bingo also displays an ability that has eluded everyone else connected with this movie: He sniffs out a bomb.

Director Matthew Robbins and writer Jim Strain want Bingo to be the smartest character in the film--which isn’t hard. Bingo’s master’s dad (David Rasche) is a macho-obsessed, barefooted NFL place-kicker, Mom (Cindy Williams) is a hysteric, and there are two comical robbers (Kurt Fuller, Joe Guzaldo) who seem to be around to trigger another time-bomb, hostage, car-chase climax.

“Bingo” (MPAA rated PG) goes to the dogs so fast, it’s tempting to drag out reverse superlatives: say that it makes “Oh, Heavenly Dog” look like “Heaven Can Wait.”

But what’s most annoying about it is the shameless confidence with which it’s made: Robbins’ direction is so energetic, he keeps the bad jokes exploding like flak. Perhaps, some day “Bingo” will wind up on some all-time double-dud dog twin bill with “Won Ton Ton, the Dog that Saved Hollywood.” Until then, like all sleeping dogs, it deserves to lie unobserved.

‘Bingo’

Bingo: Himself

Hal Devlin: David Rasche

Natalie: Cindy Williams

Chuckie: Robert Steinmiller Jr.

A TriStar Pictures presentation of a Thomas Baer production. Director Matthew Robbins. Producer Thomas Baer. Executive producer Warren Carr. Screenplay by Jim Strain. Cinematographer John McPherson. Editor Maryann Brandon. Music Richard Gibbs. Costumes Larry S. Wells. Production design Mark Freeborn. Art director David Willson. With Kurt Fuller and David French. Running time: 1 hour, 27 minutes.

MPAA-rated PG