Small-claims court somehow seems the wrong forum...

Small-claims court somehow seems the wrong forum for a dispute involving an order of size 99 MMM foam rubber breasts.

The only thing that isn’t inflated in this case is the amount of money at issue.

A Chatsworth adult-video company, claiming that the giant falsies it had made for a movie were too large and wrinkly, wants its $2,500 down payment back from a Buena Park special-effects company.

The creators, who are countersuing Mark Curtis Productions for $2,500 in back payments, say their bogus breasts weigh just 10 pounds each and “are beautiful.”

“Sure, they have stretch marks,” allowed Mel Slavick, owner of Creative Effects. “But we wanted to make them look realistic.”

The combatants are scheduled to get everything off their chests in a Van Nuys court Sept. 3. Unless the “People’s Court” TV show gives them a call first.

Moving down a few sizes, let’s talk about that 36-18-33 doll--Barbie.

Declaring the Mattel product to be an unrealistic role model, a Minnesota company announced that it was introducing a doll with more girl-next-door measurements of 36-27-38. Her name: “Happy to Be Me.”

Happiness for Mattel is $740 million in worldwide revenues from its star in 1990 alone. Suffice it to say, Barbie won’t put on a pound this year even if she is 32, says the El Segundo-based company.

“Why would we modify the world’s most popular doll?” asked spokeswoman Donna Gibbs.

Besides, what would Ken say?

After the above two discussions, we were surprised to read the pronouncement that Paula Steele came upon in West L.A. (see photo). In a cosmic sense, it was a false alarm. The sign pertains to a furniture store.

Al Hix of Hollywood Hills saw it on a blackboard menu in Michael’s restaurant in the Los Feliz area:

“Prim Rib.”

Theorizes Hix: “Eve, maybe?”

Marie Hartman was in line for a movie in West L.A. when a woman came up to her and said, “Have you seen my father?”

“No,” said Hartman. “I don’t think I know him. What does he look like?”

“No, no, no,” said the woman, who explained that she wanted to know if Hartman had seen “My Father’s Glory,” which was made by the same director as the film they were about to see, “My Mother’s Castle.”

Well, movie prices being what they are, you can’t be too safe.

One booth we’ll pass up:

Among the sponsors of the coming Taste of the South Bay festival is BFI Waste Industries.

miscellAny:

Michillinda Avenue in Pasadena was named by early settlers in honor of their home states of Michigan, Illinois and Indiana.