MAKING IT WORK : Understanding Can Strengthen Love Foundation

The planning that goes into a home remodeling project rarely includes a survival strategy for couples trying to keep their equilibrium while riding an emotional roller coaster.

Ellis Wayne, a Newport Beach psychologist who teaches at UC Irvine, says marriages will be safer during construction if couples expect ups and downs, ranging from the excitement of getting started to the shock that often comes when those “little” extras requested along the way are added up in the final bill.

Wayne, who recently had his house remodeled, offers the following suggestions to help couples maintain peace with each other while living in an environment that feels more like a battle zone than home:

* Avoid surprises. Work out the details of the job well ahead of time.

* Anticipate which part of the house will be off-limits during construction and arrange alternative living areas.

* Take a deep breath before embarking on this adventure, then hold hands and charge together. Expect problems to occur, and don’t let them come between you.

* Have compassion for each other. You’re both dealing with unsettling changes in your environment that will try your patience.

* Don’t let mistakes, misunderstandings, delays or inconveniences block your view of the bigger picture. Keep focusing on how much you’re going to enjoy your home when the work is done.