Like a lot of people, Michael Fisher...

Like a lot of people, Michael Fisher of Inglewood said the photo on his new driver’s license didn’t look a thing like him.

In fact, it was someone else’s picture.

“Guy looks like a holdup man,” joked Fisher, who sent us copies of his before and after licenses. “He definitely doesn’t have my looks.”

DMV spokesman Bill Madison admitted that “we’ve had some problems with the new program,” referring to the new, hard-to-counterfeit licenses, which contain holograms as well as driver’s information imprinted on a magnetic strip.

When Fisher re-renewed his license, a clerk told him “you’re not the only one” to get someone else’s photo.

If it keeps up, the DMV will have to post signs that say: “Warning: Merging Driver’s Licenses.”

Stupid Criminal Tricks:

A 49-year-old L.A. man was chased and captured by two LAPD officers after he allegedly stole an American flag and a DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) flag from the flagpole in front of a building on 6th Street--the LAPD’s Central Division station.

Talk about taking the plunge:

High-divers Dustin Kielty and Becca Webster, both 23, plan to be married on a 70-foot tower at Magic Mountain this evening, then evade rice-throwers by jumping off. They’ll reach “speeds of 50 m.p.h. before landing in a 14-foot pool of water,” a spokeswoman said.

What a daring maneuver on Friday the 13th. We mean the getting-married part.

Abbott and Costello and Nina:

Artist Al Hirschfeld, who drew the five commemorative comedians’ stamps that were recently unveiled in Hollywood, likes to sneak the name of his daughter Nina into his caricatures. The first person to make a sighting in today’s photo wins our favorite recent publicist’s gift, a “St. Joseph: The Underground Real Estate Agent” charm that’s guaranteed to help you sell your house.

List of the Day:

Who keeps saying all those nasty things about L.A. on billboards? Well, John Fuller of Fuller Advertising Inc., wrote to claim responsibility for a series of boot ads. But he pointed out that “L.A.-based businesses and ad agencies use tongue-in-cheek, self-deprecating humor to communicate with other Los Angelenos. It’s a little like the perverse pride that New Yorkers and Parisians take in being rude to outsiders. . . .”

A few of Sacks / Fuller’s ruder boot ads on freeway billboards:

1--You need a thick skin to live in L.A.

2--Just what L.A. needs. More heels.

3--There are too many loafers in L.A.

4--There are millions of square feet in L.A.

And, no doubt directed toward motorists:

5--We wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.

miscelLAny:

Metro Hoof: L.A.’s first “rapid” transit system was a horse trolley begun by R.M. Widney on Spring Street in 1873.