COMMENTARY ON EDUCATION : Learning to Live Together: School Is the Logical Place to Start : Students who do not appear to respond to parental ‘intervention’ may well listen to their peers at school.

For our young people to be victims of random or wanton shootings and other physical assaults is unconscionable. As a society, we cannot--and will not--abide that irresponsible behavior.

But what shall we do? Can the schools help stem the tide toward apparent lawlessness? Whose responsibility is it to do something ? The answer must be: all of us.

For many years, people have looked primarily to schools to solve society’s problems. We have what appear to be racial/cultural conflicts in some Orange County neighborhoods. Although most of the confrontations occur off campus, the fallout often follows the players back onto overcrowded school campuses, into jammed classrooms, and into elbow-to-elbow hallways where all too often erroneous stereotypes clash at the drop of an innuendo.

Faced with several different languages, and an equal number of cultures, often distrustful of one another, do schools really have a chance to persuade wolves and lambs that they can share the same real estate? Yes--and here are some of the most successful strategies.

Parents are an integral part of the “schooling process,” and bringing them into the schools is probably the most significant move that the teachers and administration can make. Parental presence on the campus at any grade level, walking the halls, sipping coffee in the cafeteria at lunchtime, talking with students and being extremely visible are major “calming influences” among students. In essence, when your mother is around, you don’t mess up!

We have found that quite often, parents from another country or culture are uncomfortable on our campuses. The sheer magnitude of 1,500 to 2,500 adolescents and 150 teachers can intimidate the most erudite among us. Teachers and administrators introducing themselves door-to-door or meeting in storefront churches at a minister-called meeting tend to build the trust necessary to overcome the inhibitions. Leaders in the multicultural communities can be major players in home-school partnerships.

Role models are needed desperately. People of color, college and professional athletes, rock stars and TV personalities who state in no uncertain terms that aberrant behavior is just not acceptable in his or her world can make a difference. A 300-pound middle guard will have a major impact on wavering and impressionable young adolescents.

Other strategies that can help all of us to wake up to Orange County diversity include:

* Student councils with inclusive ethnic membership;

* Teachers and administrators walking the attendance-area neighborhoods, not only to introduce themselves but to learn the environment where their students live;

* Employing culturally diverse teachers and aides who will help students retain their heritage and share it;

* Capitalizing on effective volunteer programs, such as the highly successful, award-winning group in the Huntington Beach Union High School District;

* Calling on your Orange County Department of Education for help through Project Yes, Operation Safe Schools, Peer Assistance Leadership, and other successful anti-gang, anti-drug, multicultural programs.

* Parents and guardians exercising close supervision of their children, where they are going and with whom. Guns in the home must be monitored, unloaded, and kept under lock and key.

* Parents must be available, spending at least 30 minutes each day with their children, read with the younger children, and talk with all their children about the value of school and learning and values. Help them to understand that learning matters. Remind them, when they leave the home, “who they are and what they represent.”

* Finding out about the Conflict Intervention Manager program in the Irvine Unified School District. Students who do not appear to respond to parental “intervention” may well listen to their peers.

Open communication is the single greatest link to understanding among human beings. Relationships live or die in direct correspondence to the level of communication between and among families, the home and school, governments and the governed.

Surveys tell us that the people of Orange County like their schools and believe their children are gaining a fine education, preparing them to take their rightful places in our county, state and nation’s future. But schools cannot operate in a vacuum. More than 70 languages are spoken in our 400,000-student population and there has been a 20% increase in our Limited-English-Proficient student body, each with its own culture. This has placed an almost overwhelming burden on our teachers, counselors, and on every aspect of our educational institutions.

We have learned that one step at a time, one positive move, one behavior change, one promise to ourselves to do something will make a difference in our homes and schools, on our streets and, yes, in ourselves. There is no other option.