It used to keep me up all...

It used to keep me up all night worrying.

What would happen if I saw one of the people whose mugs were on wanted posters at the post office?

You know. Those full-face and profile photos of seamy-looking people accused of mail fraud--sometimes with murder thrown in. Accompanied by information about height, weight, scars, tattoos and whether they were armed and dangerous.

As I waited in line to mail a package, I’d try to memorize the posters, even though I knew it was a zillion to one I’d never see one of those guys.

But I also knew, as a Boy Scout, that I had to Be Prepared if I did. It was my chance to be a hero--to win the super, presidential merit badge I figured a grateful nation held in reserve for such exploits.

Say I spotted him feeding a quarter into a parking meter. Or bundling clothes at the Laundromat. Or standing in line for a movie. Doing something any ordinary person would do.

Should I run to a pay phone and call the police? That risked letting him get away--and letting him sneak up behind me and brain me with the receiver as I tried to get the cops to believe me.

“Sure, kid,” the desk sergeant would be saying as the hollow thump came over the line.

And suppose I was wrong? Those photos were awfully blurry, after all. Suppose I grabbed onto his leg like a bulldog and yelled for help and let him drag me down the sidewalk, skinning my knees and wrecking my new pants, and he turned out to be an ordinary person? Just some other kid’s dad?

I couldn’t sleep.

A seminar on insomnia will be offered from 7 to 8 p.m. Wednesday at the Glendale Adventist Medical Center, 1509 Wilson Terrace, Glendale; reservations: 409-8100 (free).

And an open house with displays on mail fraud and customer service is scheduled from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Friday at the Burbank Post Office, 2140 N. Hollywood Way, Burbank (free).