GOINGS ON

If “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” covered Halloween, who, and what, would it see?

Tom Arnold “Last year we went as two loud, obnoxious fat people . . .”

Roseanne Barr Arnold “. . . and this year we’re going as ourselves.”

Richard Lewis (“Anything But Love”) “This year I’m going out dressed as a well-adjusted heterosexual.”

Tyra Ferrell (“Boyz N the Hood”) “I’m planning on going as a Black Panther . . . my own version of the Cat Woman.”

Milton Berle “Halloween was a lucky day for me. In 1913, I dressed up as Charlie Chaplin. A talent agent spotted me and said to my mother: ‘Ma’am, your child is cute, funny and has a big future in show business.’ From that day on, I was in show business. I used fur from my mom’s coat for a mustache.”

Keith Olbermann (KCBS Sports) “I’ve had great success taking advantage of my eyebrows and going as Dracula, scaring children without even trying, but this year I’m really going to be scary and dress like (KNBC’s) Fred Rogan.”

Cassandra Peterson (“Elvira, Mistress of the Dark”) “This year, I’m going as ‘Twin Peaks.’ ”

Mick Fleetwood “My best costume is Jesus Christ. When I dress up as Him, I even scare myself.”

Richard Moll (“Night Court”) “I’ll dress up as an ozone molecule. Everything would be black until you came up to my head and that would be white, the round ozone molecule, and I would go around saying, ‘Please keep the CFCs away from me.’ Those ultraviolet rays come down and hit me before they hit anybody else, and I have no protection.”

Phyllis Diller “I can never leave the house on Halloween. I rent out my entire wardrobe. HA HA HA!”

Stockard Channing “I loved getting dressed up as a tramp, not the kind you’re thinking, but hobos. We used burnt cork on our faces; it was fun.”

Rod Steiger “I’ve been trying to dress as an adult for 66 years.”

Andrew McCarthy (“Year of the Gun”) “I try to stay inside on Halloween because there are too many people trying to dress up as Marlene Dietrich on the streets.”