Wheelies Don’t Score Points on This Course

Kevin Atherton won the Pomona Half Mile professional motorcycle race last month, but when he returned home to Michigan he found the Department of Motor Vehicles was looking for him.

It seems that Atherton had failed the skill portion of the motorcycle licensing test by going too fast.

“I took the test on my Ducati Superbike, and the lady told me it was too big for me and I should get a smaller bike,” Atherton told Papa Wealey of Cycle News.

Trivia time: What makes Ted Turner unique among pro sports owners?

That’s for sure: On Prime Ticket’s telecast of the UCLA-Washington State football game, the announcers were talking about Derek Sparks, the Cougar running back who was embroiled in recruiting scandals at Montclair Prep and Santa Ana Mater Dei High.

Said one announcer: “There was a lot of talk about his illegal recruiting, which, of course, is against the rules.”

Green goose eggs: Newsday reports that a Houston Oiler fan, who obviously also was a fan of the late Dr. Seuss, hung a banner during the Cincinnati game last week at the Astrodome:

“We don’t like your Bengal clan. We don’t like you Sam I am. We can beat them at their home. We can beat them in the dome. We can beat them here or there. We can beat them anywhere. We don’t like you Bengal clan. Oh-and-8 Sam I am.”

Slip of the tongue: Michael Katz of the New York Daily News calls the rumor that Mike Tyson might leave promoter Don King “a case of the sinking ship leaving the rat.”

Big difference: George Shinn, owner of the Charlotte Hornets, promised that No. 1 draft choice Larry Johnson would not get $20 million, and he delivered on that promise when Johnson signed a six-year contract for $19,999,999. However. . . .

“Anyone who asks me, I’m saying Larry got $20 million,” said Steve Endicott, Johnson’s agent. “I threw the extra buck in myself.”

Horse feathers: Rodeo fever struck George Michael’s “Sports Machine” show again Sunday night. Among his highlights were two clips involving bull riding. Neglected was the Breeders’ Cup victory by Arazi, one of the most spectacular performances ever by a 2-year-old. Perhaps it would have helped if Pat Valenzuela had worn chaps.

Going and coming: The 1993 World Boomerang Championships have been awarded to Chatham, Canada, which prompted the San Francisco Chronicle’s Tom FitzGerald to note: “That must be the one sport in which the most valuable player and the comeback player of the year are always the same person.”

Wordy comment: The newest sports video, “Joe Montana II Sports Talk Football,” has continuous commentary, which prompted John Nelson of the Associated Press to comment: “The computerized commentator supposedly is capable of uttering 200 phrases, giving it a bigger vocabulary than Frank Gifford.”

Trivia answer: Both of his Atlanta teams, the Braves and the Hawks, once represented Milwaukee.

Add Turner: Jane Fonda and Turner spent so much time cuddling during the World Series that fans in Minnesota’s Metrodome put up a sign: “Jane & Ted: Get a Room.”

Quotebook: Jimmy (the Greek) Snyder, asked if his father had ever warned him against the evils of gambling: “At the beginning, he was very much against it, but by the time I was 16 I was making more money than he was.”