Gone, but Now, Not Forgotten : Cemeteries: Aching after her father’s death, an Ojai woman adopted a local grave to care for. Now she’s urging others to do the same.

The afternoon sunlight filtered through the ancient oak trees, throwing patterns of light and shadow across Julie Del Pozzo as she knelt beside the wooden tombstone in the desolate cemetery.

“This is it. This is the one that started it all,” said the 57-year-old Ojai resident. She brushed away the dirt from the tombstone with her hand, revealing a simple inscription: John Kimball, Civil War Confed.

“This is my soldier,” Del Pozzo said. “I cried my heart out when I first saw him. His grave was in terrible shape, so I started clearing the leaves and weeds from it. I adopted the grave in place of my father’s.”

Del Pozzo, whose father died suddenly nine months ago, discovered the neglected soldier’s grave at Ojai’s Nordhoff Cemetery in March. In memory of her father, who is buried in San Diego, she has started the “Adopt-A-Grave” program.

“My heart was really hurting because of my dad’s death, and it made me feel good to do this,” said Del Pozzo, who also has adopted two children’s graves. “I come here about two or three times a month and put flowers on the graves and do some raking and weeding, anything I can do to make them look nice.”

When Del Pozzo first visited the cemetery, she was amazed at all the neglected graves, especially the ones that date back to the 1800s.

“It’s really sad,” she said. “. . . Some of the graves have a real history to them. Relatives must have died or moved away, and there is nobody left to take care of them anymore.”

Del Pozzo’s plan to sign up volunteers to tend some of the neglected grave sites has been met with enthusiasm by the city of Ojai, including Assistant City Manager Elaine Willman.

“It is such a nice idea, and we’re more than happy to back her up,” Willman said. She explained that the city-owned cemetery has a very small staff that can care for the cemetery as a whole, but not for individual graves.

A self-described history buff, Willman has volunteered her time to compile a list of adoptable graves from the city’s archives--complete with historical background and anecdotal information.

So far, Del Pozzo has received more than 20 letters from Ojai residents, including many from people who also would like to adopt a grave because they are too far away from loved ones buried in other cities. Some of the letters are from people interested in the history of cemeteries, she said.

Ojai residents Beverly and Wayne Dill, who wrote to Del Pozzo, wandered through the weed-choked cemetery recently, looking at the neglected graves.

“It’s a shame, seeing this sort of thing in the middle of a city that usually takes pride in its heritage,” Beverly Dill said. “Just think of the history behind some of these graves. Something needs to be done, and I’m glad that Julie is doing this.”

Wayne Dill said he was surprised at all the graves from the Civil and Spanish-American wars.

“Somebody must have loved them at one time, but now they’re all alone,” he said. “It makes you wonder what’s going to happen to us after we die. Are we going to be forgotten, too?”

Ojai resident Diane Goldman said she and her two daughters have a habit of saying hello to one of the people buried at the cemetery on their way to school.

“We drive past the cemetery all the time, and one day we decided to pull over and look at the graves,” Goldman said. “There was a grave close to the road with the name George on it, so now, every morning, we say hi to George. My little girls hope that George is looking down from above and is happy.”

Goldman said she hopes to learn more about George when she adopts his grave. She also would like to adopt several graves of children.

“I’m looking forward to Christmastime. We’re going to come down and visit all the little children’s graves and put flowers on them,” she said.

Richard Ledbetter, public works lead man at the cemetery, said one of his workers uncovered a 1-year-old’s grave last week that was buried under dirt and leaves.

“It’s kind of sad,” Ledbetter said. “I guess people just move away and don’t take care of them anymore. We have people from the jails doing community service here sometimes, but it’s really not enough. I think (Del Pozzo’s) idea is great.”

Del Pozzo is happy with the response she has received.

“If each person can adopt one or two graves and visit them once a month, putting flowers on them or cleaning them up, we’ll be able to make a big difference.

“I’m not a Bible thumper or anything, but I believe,” she said. “Every time I visit the soldier’s grave, I ask him if he sees my father in heaven, please tell him I love him and miss him. I really hope my dad can look down and see that I’m doing this for him.”