Opening of the Reagan Library

I visited the People’s Republic of Mondavia last week. I was lucky to find a large celebration going on in the tiny town of Siminski Valley. The people were celebrating Dictator-for-Life Rondanski Reaganovich’s dedication of his Golden Temple. At least is was rumored to be happening. The rumor said that four other dictators for life would be there.

The exact times for the event were a state secret for security reasons. No one saw them come or go. The main road was blocked off and the peasants were forcibly prevented from attending by heavily armed military security. It was rumored that a tiny portion of this $57-million-gilded extravaganza would be made available for the peasants to visit.

Mondavia has a tremendous amount of low-income and homeless population. I am sure glad to get back to the U.S. where this sort of thing could never happen.

DEAN LAMBORN, Simi Valley