Learning to Use Frank Talk as a Step to Safe Sex : Health: The staff of a Melrose boutique attends a ‘Speaking of Sex’ workshop sponsored by AIDS Project Los Angeles.

The setting for the safe-sex workshop could not have been more apropos.

Amid fruit-flavored condoms in candy jars, and condom earrings with peace signs, a group of employees from the Melrose Avenue boutique “Condomania” learned how to broach the touchy subject with their customers and among themselves.

The candid discussion Monday, as might be expected, caused some to blush. Nervous giggles filled the room when the two leaders asked for volunteers to demonstrate the proper use of a condom on a model penis. Nevertheless, an air of seriousness generally prevailed.

“A lot of people have never talked about sex in their lives,” co-facilitator Glenn Gaylord told the group. “But if they can learn to talk about it here, maybe they can talk about it with their partner.”

Welcome to “Speaking of Sex,” a workshop sponsored by AIDS Project Los Angeles. During the last 2 1/2 years, the workshops have reached more than 70 groups throughout Los Angeles County, from high school students and college women to recovering substance abusers and members of the clergy.

Workshop leaders admit that Condomania is one of the more exotic classrooms they’ve seen. But it is not the only unusual place in which they have taught.

The workshops have also been given at a flight-attendant school in Hollywood, at a beachside training center for Los Angeles County lifeguards, even in a theology class at a Jesuit college in Brentwood. Now corporations and law firms across the city are showing interest.

Although the three-hour sessions are tailored to individual audiences, the message is always the same: Learn to take personal responsibility for your actions and to protect yourself from the human immunodeficiency virus.

“Don’t sell yourself short by falling for someone else’s guidelines if they don’t feel comfortable to you,” co-facilitator Henry Milich told the Condomania group.

For some, that means abstaining from so-called high-risk behaviors, such as unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. For others, it means broaching the subject of sex for the first time. For religious leaders, it often means learning how to counsel parishioners or congregants through uncharted waters.

“You must have safe sex to save yourself,” Condomania employee Donna Bakker, 25, said shortly after the workshop. “I think men respect you if you bring up the subject and you’re honest about it.”

The facilitators tell participants to negotiate with their sexual partners over using prophylactics and other types of contraception. Group members also are urged to speak up in their relationships about which sexual practices they feel are safe.

“Remember, lower risk to you might not mean lower risk to someone else,” Milich said. “We are not talking about safe sex. We’re talking about ‘safer’ sex. There are no guarantees, only reduced risk.”

The Condomania staff mentioned 18 common arguments from customers opposed to condoms: They are uncomfortable and they ruin spontaneity, to name two. Milich told the employees that their customers will warm up to the idea if they learn to involve their sexual partners in safe-sex decisions.

The workshop leaders also offered practical information. They said, for example, that latex condoms are more dependable than those made of lambskin. Similarly, they cautioned against using oil-based condoms, which tend to dissolve, leaving tiny holes for the HIV virus to penetrate. Gaylord said the employees should encourage customers to read the backs of condom packages.

The advice was not lost on Annie Courchesne, 23, the store’s manager.

“We need to be an educational resource,” Courchesne said. “The only way we can do that is by learning to communicate better about this touchy subject.”

Another employee, David Romero, said the workshop reinforced his commitment to safe sex.

“I realize that a condom does not make sex absolutely safe,” Romero said. “The key to all this is talking about it. That’s, hopefully, what we are doing here.”