Business Can Be Nothing but Stubble

It’s shaping up as a close shave for Victor Kiam, who owns the New England Patriots and the Remington shaver company.

Kiam needs $38 million to save the financially troubled Patriots and might have to sell his company to do it--which might not be easy in light of reports that Remington is in financial trouble.

But if nothing else, Kiam seems tenacious about keeping the Patriots. In his second book, called “Live to Win,” Kiam wrote about how he once got so excited while watching a Monday night game on television that he fell out of his chair, knocked himself unconscious and speared his hand on a tennis trophy.

Add Kiam: From the Boston Globe, quoting an unidentified friend of Kiam familiar with his business dealings: “Kiam is the modern-day Willy Loman, and we might be living through his death as a salesman.”

Trivia time: Who were the running backs and quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons in 1979, the last time the Falcons won a playoff game?

Around Bee Bend: The mailing address of the Charlotte Hornets is Hive Drive.

Basket case: Denver Coach Paul Westhead to his assistant coaches Wednesday night in a game against the Phoenix Suns when Nugget forward Greg (Cadillac) Anderson flipped a shot backward over his head off the glass and into the basket while falling out of bounds: “Stop the game! Let’s get the hell out of here!”

Is 0-0 easier?According to John Steigerwald of KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh, writing in the Pittsburgh Press, one of the most amazing feats on a football field all season was performed at halftime of the Bayou Classic when the Grambling State band formed the score--24-17--of its game with Southern.

Said Steigerwald: “You don’t suppose they practiced all the possible combinations, do you?”

Air Lind: When second baseman Ryne Sandberg of the Cubs won his ninth consecutive Gold Glove, one of the few who disagreed with the selection was Pittsburgh coach Rich Donnelly, who naturally favored Jose Lind of the Pirates.

“Lind makes plays no other people in the history of the game have made,” Donnelly said. “He’s like a Michael Jordan on the baseball field.”

No Kidding: For what it’s worth, Basketball Weekly has UCLA ranked No. 1 in its poll and also anointed Cal-bound Jason Kidd of St. Joseph-Notre Dame High in Alameda as the best high school player in the country.

Add Kidd: His enrollment at Cal might be a bit sticky. Basketball Weekly reported that Kidd, a 6-4 guard, twice failed to score the minimum acceptable score on his SAT.

Fab four plus one: At Michigan, they are already planning a trip to the Final Four in the near future--as soon as Coach Steve Fisher’s heralded freshman class, dubbed the ‘Fabulous Five,” matures a little. One looks pretty grown up already--6-9, 240-pound center-forward Chris Webber, considered the best prospect to come out of Michigan since, yes, Magic Johnson.

Said Fisher: “He’s quick, he’s explosive, he’s good.”

Get Smart: What ever happened to Keith Smart, whose jump shot enabled Indiana to beat Syracuse in the 1987 NCAA title game? You’ll find him in the Continental Basketball Assn., playing for the Rapid City Thrillers alongside another former Hoosier guard, Jay Edwards, and coached by Eric Musselman, son of former Minnesota Timberwolves Coach Bill Musselman.

Trivia answer: Quarterback Steve Bartkowski and running backs Haskel Stanback and Bubba Bean.

Quotebook: University of San Diego Coach Hank Egan, on his 21st year of coaching Division I basketball: “The only thing that surprises me about college basketball is that people are dumb enough to bet on it.”