The Real Gifts of Christmas : Caring: Yuletide is the perfect time to dust off a special memory of someone whose efforts have kept a tradition of helping alive.

Some people collect baseball cards, or cars or rare books. I collect “back-pocket stories.”

My father always said that “everyone carries a story in their back pocket.” As a child, I envisioned nouns, verbs and adjectives spilling out of people’s pockets, but I soon learned that the stories of which my father spoke were people’s tales of overcoming childhood obstacles.

In all back-pocket stories there is a name. A name of one individual whose involvement or intervention in a child’s life made an impact.

At Christmastime I am reminded of these back-pocket stories, because as a parent, I believe they are among the greatest gifts we can give to children.

One friend tells of a less-than-idyllic childhood in Pennsylvania in the 1950s with a single mother. “I had no male role models,” he offers. Then he joined a Boy Scout troop with a special leader. “That leader made all the difference in my life,” he says today. Sometime during their time together, the leader convinced the young boy that he was special. The story continues with success in high school, college, career, marriage and a family.

Even now, the Pacific Beach stockbroker is actively involved in scouting. Undoubtedly, this man’s name is now in the back-pocket stories of others who have profited from his time in scouting.

There is a Southeast San Diego student attending college in the Midwest whose achievements are remarkable. The essay that accompanied her college application was a report of growing up in a single-parent family, learning to speak English in school and setting her goal of being the first college graduate in her family. A host of teachers, administrators, coaches and community leaders’ names spill out of her back pocket.

However, the name of one individual is notable. It is the name of the owner of the corner grocery store. Throughout this girl’s youth, the grocery store owner encouraged her, worried whether the family had food to eat, inquired about classroom assignments, and even today, continues to follow her education.

Another back-pocket story relates the tale of a successful businessman who had to repeat the ninth grade after his family moved to a new community. Yet, in the 11th grade a history teacher told him, “You are capable of going to any college you desire.”

He went to Yale. Today, this man’s curriculum vitae would never indicate that this was a child who had repeated ninth grade. And his name is in the back pocket of several minority students whom he has assisted in organizing college applications, obtaining scholarships and arranging summer employment.

There is a local writer with the name of a veterinarian in her back pocket. The father of a friend, the veterinarian loaned the writer money to purchase a used car for transportation to college and then offered her a part-time job. She has undoubtedly signed her name on other loan forms in life to purchase a home and a new car, but it was that initial loan that made a difference. In return, the writer is now the name in the pocket of a mature student who with her children escaped an abusive relationship with this writer’s help and encouragement.

An accountant carries in his back pocket the name of the high school football coach who greatly influenced him and his two brothers. This past year he got involved with fund-raising for La Jolla High School. He became active in the campaign to get lights for the football field. Part of what motivated him was the memory of his coach.

These people might have succeeded in any event--without the grocer, the history teacher, the veterinarian or the football coach.

And, although some came from poor or dysfunctional homes, even children from loving, well-educated families sometimes need the attention of an adult other than their parents--a person who recognizes the child’s individual worth and says, “I believe in you, you can make it, or, how may I help?”

Everyone carries a story in the back pocket. Christmastide is a good time to dust off the story and see if the gift might be returned.