Nanny Search: Parents Face Troubling Choices : Child care: Death of Santa Ana infant points up hazards. College-trained care-givers get highest marks.

Sometimes they quit without notice. Maybe they party on the job or can’t communicate in English. At the very worst, live-in baby-sitters abuse the children in their care or, in the case last week in Santa Ana, they are accused of killing their young charges.

Live-in child care is a popular choice for wealthy, middle and working classes. About 600,000 U.S. children younger than 5 are being cared for in their homes by non-relatives, according to the International Nanny Assn.

But in a field unregulated and unsupervised, nannies are also a frightening choice. Parents want the best for their children but often can’t afford or don’t know how to get it, child-care experts say.

“When families are struggling with the economy the way it is,” UC Irvine pediatrician Marc Lerner said, working parents “often have to leave kids with someone and are taking whatever they can put together. Often they are hiring people on the basis of minimal information, brief personal recommendation, someone from out of the country who has a friend who’s gotten across the border and is looking for employment.”

The safest choices are college-trained nannies, who earn $350 to $500 a week. “The people who have those nannies are very happy with them,” said Cheryl Milford, a UCI psychologist and single mother of a 3-year-old. “Unfortunately, the rest of us can’t afford those kind of people.”

Experts say parents can try to avoid a nanny nightmare through extreme diligence, including checking references and monitoring the live-in continually after employment. But one South County mother, who has hired five live-ins in three years, said there’s no way to be sure--particularly when using agencies that deal in undocumented workers.

“You go on faith these people are who they say they are,” said the mother, one of whose nannies was arrested for passing counterfeit money--as her 2-year-old charge watched. “You can’t check their references from Mexico. You can check former employers in this county if they give them to you, and if they are honest.”

In every case, she admitted, “it’s a gamble.”

Even friends of the family, or European au pair girls, have wreaked tragedy on trusting parents:

* On Jan. 7, a 15-year-old girl is suspected of beating to death 9-month-old Oscar Vargas of Santa Ana. The girl, daughter of friends of the Vargas family, had come from Mexico for the baby-sitting job and had been living with the family for three weeks. She was arrested on suspicion of murder after a brother of the victim told police that he saw her abusing the baby.

* In December, a 20-year-old Swiss au pair was arrested on suspicion of killing her 3-month-old charge by spreading flammable liquid throughout a Thornwood, N.Y., home and setting it ablaze. The woman, who has protested her innocence, had been living with the family one month.

* In October, a 19-year-old nanny was sentenced to six months in jail for abusing a 2-year-old in Palmdale. A videotape, taken secretly by the father, showed the nanny repeatedly striking the child. She had been hired about six months earlier, through a newspaper ad. The nanny was in the country illegally and will probably be deported to Mexico.

(Omayma Nelson, accused of murdering and dismembering her husband in December, listed one of her occupations as “nanny” and was placed with at least two families through a Huntington Beach domestic agency, court records show. In seeking probation, Nelson used the families as references.)

Such stories understandably horrify parents, who often are already feeling guilty for leaving their children in the care of others. In addition, a just-released movie, “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle,” shows a nanny who goes berserk and terrorizes her employer.

The combination of news and fiction showing nannies at their worst has prompted the International Nanny Assn., an organization of nannies, educators and agencies based in Austin, Tex., to survey its 1,600 members for their screening practices and to issue a press release Thursday.

In it, INA president Sheri Funk said most children are safe in the hands of a professional nanny. “A professional nanny takes her work seriously, focuses on the individual needs of each child in her care and makes immeasurable positive contributions to the lives of the family,” she said.

Live-ins are popular with parents who work late and cannot use family day-care or child-care centers, as well as parents with several children who could not afford institutional care. They are also available when the child is sick.

“It’s a cheaper form of child care if there is more than one, and you have more flexibility,” said Kathleen Perrine, co-owner of Nannies You Trust in Costa Mesa.

The INA estimates that there are 75,000 to 100,000 in-home baby-sitters in the United States who are trained or experienced as professional nannies and placed through agencies.

In addition, the U.S. Information Agency has designated eight programs that allow 24,000 Europeans to enter the United States each year as au pairs, usually young women ages 18 to 25 who live with the family for a year, help with child care and housework and receive a small salary. Some have experience and some do not.

In border states such as California, however, many more baby-sitters are undocumented workers and are placed informally, through word of mouth or newspaper ads.

Despite some agencies’ ads that promise to provide “Xlnt & Loving” care-givers, it is a mistake to assume that applicants will be “more or less functional than the general population,” said Barbara Oliver, executive director of the Orange County Child Abuse Council. “It’s probably about the same.”

While there are nanny training schools and networks of professional nannies, relatively little is known about in-home care-giving because it is so informal, said Alison Clarke-Stewart, UCI professor and author of several books on day care.

Even if the field were regulated, it would be difficult to know where to start, she said. “When we talk about regulating centers or day-care homes, we talk about the number of kids in a room or center,” she said. “That’s not the issue with in-home care. . . . How can you tell if a person is a great care-giver or not? We don’t have tests.”

As with any criminal behavior, the best way to predict who will turn dangerous is to check their past, she said. Parents might consider hiring a private investigator, child-care experts said. It is vital to check references to verify skills, abilities, temperament and background.

Child-care experts suggest that parents check the background of any agency they are using, as well.

Some agencies, such as the National Nanny Network, require health releases from a doctor, a copy of their educational and driving records, a cardiopulmonary resuscitation certificate and personal and professional references.

Kathleen Perrine, an owner of Nannies You Trust in Costa Mesa, said she requires a minimum age of 18, the ability to speak English, citizenship and a high school diploma. Her charges also cannot be smokers. She offers a 90-day guarantee.

She said state regulations changed last year and no longer require her to be licensed as an employment agency. “Now that they dropped that requirement, that kind of opens it up even more,” she said. “We liked the fact of having to be licensed and having to follow rules.”

In Orange County, most live-in problems have to do with high turnover rather than negligence or abuse, experts said. “What you hear most is people just don’t show up one day,” said Clarke-Stewart of UCI. “It’s an unreliable form of care.”

Horror stories abound:

* While parents were working, one nanny packed her bags and left a 6-year-old and an infant alone to fend for themselves.

* Another left for a Christmas vacation in Mexico--and did not return for two months.

* Another left a message on her employer’s answering machine, saying she was not returning the next day. Her clothes were still in the closet.

Milford--the UCI psychologist and single mother--said her English live-in left abruptly during the Persian Gulf War, afraid that she would be stuck in a country that was going to be bombed.

Some parents have gone through five nannies in five weeks, said Perrine of Nannies You Trust.

Sometimes girls from other parts of the country go wild in California. “There’s so much all of a sudden for them to do,” she said. “One girl got pregnant and had to go home. Another got married within three months.”

Last year, a Bay Area couple complained that an Orange County agency sent them an 18-year-old from Montana who ended up wrecking their car en route to a nightclub and bouncing more than $70,000 in checks.

Communication is also often a problem, particularly if the nanny cannot handle medical emergencies over the telephone, pediatrician Lerner said.

He also said nannies have come into his office seeking medical care for their employers’ child without written permission from the parents. He will help in life-threatening situations, but otherwise they are turned away.

In more subtle cases, nannies can be emotionally distant, propping up infants with their bottles for extended periods, for instance. The negative effects over time can include insecure relationships, trouble with behavior and learning deficiencies he said.

On the other hand, good child care with consistent providers (no more than two different providers before preschool) can lead to emotionally well children, he said.

While there are no guarantees, child-care experts suggest that parents can weed out misfits through scrupulous checking of references, in-depth questioning and surveillance--no matter how awkward it feels--after the person is hired.

In hiring a nanny or evaluating a current employee, parents should look for genuine appreciation and love for children, common sense, dependability and honesty, according to child-care experts.

But “nice” is not enough, they said. Care-givers should also know CPR, the specific dangers of the house, such as pools or spas, and be able to read and speak English.

Parents should trust their instincts and interview the applicant more than once, asking about experience, training, background, child development and what-if questions, according to child-care experts.

They should also pay a fair wage--$175 to $500 a week--and not expect the nanny to manage the household as well as the children, they said.

No matter how much checking is done, there are no 100% guarantees that the nanny will be Mary Poppins. In the end, Clarke-Stewart of UCI said, “the thing to stress is (that) the child’s well-being is the parent’s responsibility.”

Hiring a Live-In Baby-Sitter

Live-ins offer working parents a convenient and affordable means of child care, particularly for those with several children.

In choosing a live-in, parents should:

* Scrutinize the referral agency by asking for families that have used the agency before.

* Review the candidates’ education, training and experience and find out about the person’s upbringing. What did they learn from their family about child-rearing practices?

* Insist on previous experience working with children the same age, and verify it.

* Present situational problems, such as emergencies, to assess the candidate’s critical thinking, judgment and common sense. For example, what would they do if the child were injured? What do they do when a child disobeys, or when a baby won’t stop crying?

* Talk to as many previous employers as possible.

* Conduct a trial run for a weekend.

* Trust your instincts.

* Continue monitoring the live-in, even after hiring.

Source: Child Care Action Campaign, New York A packet of information on hiring or evaluating a nanny may be obtained for $10 from the International Nanny Assn., P.O. Box 26522, Austin, Tex. 78755.