If You Like Being Punched, Pulled or Pounded, This Sport’s for You
As you know, I take as one of my tasks keeping you briefed on important cultural/athletic advancements in America’s Finest City.
A week ago, it was Finger Flick Football. Soon, if all goes well, this space will be devoted to Nerf Basketball (a barroom sport whose couch-potato participants think Stairmaster is a character from “Star Trek VI.”)
Today, however, the text is about “American Gladiators,” the newest television sport. If roller derby and big-time wrestling had an illegitimate child, it would be American Gladiators.
If you liked “Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome,” you’ll love “American Gladiators.” All it lacks is Tina Turner.
If you haven’t seen it on TV, you’ve missed large specimens of the iron-pumping set, male and female, wearing Spandex tights and doing head-to-head battle in events called The Joust (pugil sticks), Assault (tennis balls shot from a pneumatic tube), Powerball, The Wall (climbing and pushing), Breakthrough and Conquer, and The Eliminator. Heavy on the aggression.
The competitors go by names like Gemini, Ice, Nitro, Zap, Laser, Blaze, Tower, Diamond, Viper and Jazz. Mostly they’re ex-college jocks, bodybuilders and would-be actors.
Here’s the local angle: “American Gladiators” is now on tour, searching out local challengers in 70 cities to pit their skills against Gemini, Ice, et al.
Today, noonish at the parking lot of San Diego Sports Arena, is the day for muscle-bound wanna-bes from San Diego to strut, flex, and otherwise display their stuff. (I had planned to compete, but Sunday is my day to change the light bulb in the refrigerator.)
Today’s tryout--consisting of pushups, 40-yard dash and pickup games of Powerball and Joust--comes after a week’s worth of taunting on the “American Gladiators” hot line: “Are You Tough Enough To Face the American Gladiators Live?”
Four men and four women will be selected, with four alternates. The San Diego challengers will then battle Gemini, Ice, et al, at the Sports Arena on Feb. 24.
If all this sounds a bit strained and strenuous, there’s always Nerf Basketball. I’ll keep you posted.
Goodyear, Bad Marketing
The business of business.
* Some mistakes can’t be blamed on the Japanese.
Homeowners in Clairemont received nifty coupon books in the mail good for all sorts of discounts from Goodyear tire and auto repair stores. Part of a big Goodyear promotion.
Trouble is that somebody goofed, and the coupon books sent to San Diegans are no good at the six Goodyear stores in the San Diego area.
On the back it says they’re usable only at stores in Hemet, Lake Elsinore and Moreno Valley.
* A German mineral water company is interested in using bullfighters Raquel Martinez and Scott Robinson in its ads.
Martinez and Robinson are ex-San Diegans who now live in Mexico City, the only mother-and-son combo on the bullfighting scene. The mineral water uses a matador in its logo.
* Michael Reagan, axed last week from his talk-show slot at KSDO, already has a new gig.
He’s doing a seminar for the California Republican Party convention in Northern California next month: “The Mike Reagan Talk-Show Workshop--Using Free Media For Our Advantage! (Learning The Tricks of the Trade.)”
Customer Relations Are Nip and Tuck
Looks that were not deceiving.
As Times reporter Mark Platte revealed last week, William Cowling II offers a 10% discount to members of law enforcement who shop at his Dixieline Lumber Home Center stores in San Diego County.
They’re not the only ones to enjoy Cowling’s largess. Dixieline also offers a 10% for senior citizens.
Clerks used to be instructed to offer the discount to anyone who looked 65 or older. No more. Now a small sign is posted at each cash register and customers are required to ask for the discount.
The change came after a helpful clerk innocently offered the discount to a woman customer. The woman then dissolved into paroxysms of despair.
Seems she had just finished recuperating from a $17,000 face lift by a plastic surgeon who promised it would make her look years younger.