Look Like a Cartoon Character!

DEAR HOT: Wasn’t Garry Trudeau supposed to start making products based on his Doonesbury characters? I’ve been looking in stores but haven’t seen anything. Does this stuff exist?

DEAR HOT SHOPPER: If it’s Trudeau’s politically correct swizzle sticks and novelty underwear you’re after, you have to get a copy of “The Great Doonesbury Sellout,” a 32-page catalogue of Trudeau’s first 35 products.

I got mine by fluke. The enclosed note explained:

“Congratulations. You made our mailing list. That’s right, we bought your name. Whether by Mother Jones, Smith & Hawken or The Cockpit, you can be sure you’ve been sold out.”

Those who prefer to sell themselves out can call (415) 331-DUKE to request a free copy. Inside, they’ll find such items as the hot-selling “Death Before Unconsciousness” T-shirt, featuring an $18 skull-and-cross-bones motif with Duke’s head as the skull (he’s modeled after writer Hunter S. Thompson).

Other Duke products range from bomber jackets “tough enough to garden in” (from $355) to the “Insanely Great” Duke Naval Cap (pictured; $21.95).

For “pre-post-feminists” there’s a T-shirt of Joanie and her daughter J.J. checking out a newborn baby girl as J.J. declares, “It’s a woman! A baby woman!” ($18 for adults; $11.95 for infants).

There’s also the Club Scud Collection, starting at $7.95, including barware from the most famous, if fictional, nightspot in the Persian Gulf.

Watch for Zonker’s Hawaiian shirts in the fall catalogue.

All of Trudeau’s royalties and part of his partners’ revenue are donated to four charities: Trees for the Future, Asia Watch, the Coalition for the Homeless and the Center for Plant Conservation.

Thus far, says Richard Shell, president of the Doonesbury Company, the charity take is “well over $15,000.”