Joke Falls Flat With Fraud Unit, Becomes Cross to Bear for Paper

All in a day’s work.

* When The Reader had a gag ad in its “San Diego Confidential” section about how people could buy a sliver of the Mt. Soledad cross for $25 from atheist/litigant Howard Kreisner, some people may have laughed.

But not an investigator from the city attorney’s consumer fraud unit. She called the paper’s ad department and publisher to see if the ad was real or what.

Bill Newsome, deputy city attorney in charge of the consumer fraud unit, says the investigator was only probing in case someone actually answered the ad and felt cheated that they couldn’t get a cross sliver.

No further action is planned, he said.

Margot Sheehan, who writes the Confidential page, says the investigator’s calls were proof anew that satire is not native to San Diego:

“Unless you put in a disclaimer in 100-point type, ‘THIS IS A JOKE,’ some people will not understand a joke in San Diego.”

* I like that story in a local weekly that tells us the Tiffany store in the new downtown Paladion center “is exhibiting treasurers from its permanent collection.”

High time those treasurers got some exposure!

* The county Human Relations Commission is getting into the media complaints and mediation business.

The commission has formed a media subcommittee, headed by Commissioners Mary Searcy-Gomez Bixby and Kevin B. Kelly. (Kelly is also chairman of the commission’s media complaints task force.)

Bixby runs an anti-dropout program for San Diego city schools; Kelly is a computer consultant and chairman of the county Republican Central Committee.

An official complaint says the commission wants to hear about instances of cultural insensitivity and/or “inappropriate” portrayal of issues or groups.

* Among the questions being asked of candidates in San Diego and elsewhere on an endorsement quiz by the National Organization for Women:

Do you support the decriminalization of prostitution? Do you support the right of prostitutes to retain custody of their children?

News From the Political Front

The politics of sport, and vice versa.

* In his mayoral campaign, San Diego City Councilman Ron Roberts is quoting Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda:

“There are three kinds of people. Those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happened.”

Roberts could quote Dick Williams, the only Padres manager to win a pennant, but a speech full of bleep, bleeping and bleepers probably isn’t good politics.

* Bill Mitchell, who served two idiosyncratic terms on the City Council before losing a few elections, is back on the campaign trail and, as always, doing things his way.

He was gathering signatures to qualify for the ballot as a Republican hopeful in the 49th Congressional District when he decided to warm things up by bear hugging the 819th signatory (the minimum number needed).

The 819th signer decided to take up his offer “with the warmest hug I’ve ever gotten.” Bad news, though: She’s a Democrat, not eligible to sign a Republican petition.

Mitchell sighed: “Some of my best friends are Democrats.”

* The America 3 entry in the America’s Cup is selling sections of its broken mast for donations of $250 or more. Slices of cordage go for $40.

* More cowabunga than thou.

First Peter Navarro one-ups Susan Golding and Ron Roberts with campaign signs that say that, since they’re not surfers, they don’t care about the dirty ocean.

Now Golding supporter Supervisor Brian Bilbray has challenged Navarro to a surfing contest.

Navarro says he wants to up the athletic ante: He counter-challenged Bilbray to a half-mile swim in La Jolla Cove, no wet suits allowed, Speedos only.

Watch Out for This One

The bauble drawing the most attention at the new Cartier store in the Paladion center is said to be the waterproof Pasha watch (different versions of which run from $3,100 to $150,000).

Why is it called Pasha? Because Louis Cartier designed the original in 1933 for the Pasha of Marrakesh.

And why is it waterproof?

Because the pasha liked to frolic in his palace pools with his female attendants, that’s why.