Anti-campaign platform: If you’re fed up with...

Anti-campaign platform: If you’re fed up with politicians, you might want to persuade Elisha Shapiro to make one more run for the White House--for his honesty, if nothing else.

The 1988 presidential candidate of the Nihilist Party, Shapiro will present a work of performance art on April 12 at the downtown Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions (LACE).

The title sums up his nihilist political philosophy:

“I Don’t Believe in Anything: Why Do You?”

The lost flock of 101: Radio station KCRW reported a sighting of “chickens on the road” near the junction of the Hollywood and Ventura freeways Thursday. Let’s see now. It’s been almost 23 years since a poultry truck crashed in that area, spurring a mass escape. Like a certain brand of wristwatch, the Freeway Chickens seem to keep on ticking.

Bridge to where?Unlike the Golden Gate, the 29-year-old Vincent Thomas Bridge doesn’t seem to inspire poets. Somehow, a lyric along the lines of: “Saaaaa-nnnnnnn Pe-dro, open your Vin-cent Thomas!” doesn’t conjure up romantic visions.

Undeterred, some VT supporters are staging a bridge walk on April 26 to raise funds to purchase lights for the span’s cables. The bridge will be open to foot traffic only from noon to 4 p.m.

If nothing else, participants will solve a puzzle mentioned in “Architecture in Los Angeles” by authors David Gebhard and Robert Winter. “While it does indeed lead somewhere,” they write, “one is not quite sure why it is really there.”

Not to spoil the suspense, but the bridge connects San Pedro and. . . .

Maybe we better take that bridge walk ourselves.

Scholarly warning: In West Hollywood, Harris M. Miller II photographed what may be the first street sign to list a master’s degree.

Danger signal: A cable TV repairman checked out the eroded cable line on the roof of a Hollywood Hills home and said he could return and replace it today, no problem.

But as he started to write the date on his order form, he paused, looked up at the ladder, then at the roof, and asked sheepishly: “Can we make it another day?”

It’s Friday the 13th, you know.

Gov. Moonbeam correction: A dozen readers phoned, faxed, carrier-pigeoned and otherwise bugged us to say we must have been lost in space when we declared that Jerry Brown traveled about in a Pontiac Satellite as governor.

“For your penance,” said Neil Clark of Long Beach, “you will listen 200 times to the B-52’s ‘On Planet X.’ ” It includes these immortal lines:

She drove a Plymouth Satellite

Faster than the speed of light.

We bet she couldn’t faze the Freeway Chickens.

miscelLAny:

The book “The City Observed” notes that Descanso Gardens in La Canada Flintridge contains “what is said to be the largest collection of camellias in the world”--over 100,000 plants of 600 species.