Lifting Veil of Secrecy in Rape Cases Called an Effort to Regain Control : Crime: The women making the charges still face the stigma, but are willing to take that risk to recover management of their lives, experts say.

Hours after a prosecutor decided not to charge the owner of the San Francisco 49ers with sexual assault, his female accuser called a news conference to reveal her anger, and with it her identity.

When the most private accusation goes public, the veil of secrecy rarely stays in place long these days. Rape experts say that doesn’t mean the stigma is lifting, only that some women are willing to face it to regain control.

“In high-profile cases, your name is going to come out anyway,” says Florida therapist Denny Abbott, who is treating the woman who accused a Kennedy of rape in one of the most publicized recent cases.

“Coming forward, even if you’re forced to, is a chance to tell your story. The victim’s going to be stigmatized anyway, but at least they can get some control of their lives.”

Specifically, rape experts say victims seek control over the media, their alleged attackers and a legal system that often treats accusers worse than the accused.

“Character assassination might be a strong term, but that’s what happens, especially in acquaintance cases,” says Dean Kilpatrick, a psychologist and director of the Crime Victim Research and Treatment Center in Charleston, N.C.

Recent cases, with very different outcomes, illustrate the point:

* In March, Regina Baross, 24, of Redwood City held a news conference to criticize the San Mateo County district attorney for not filing charges against 49ers owner Edward DeBartolo Jr. The cocktail waitress’s name already had been leaked, but had not been used by the media.

“I just don’t see justice here at all,” Baross said. “I was drinking quite a bit, but I was sober enough to know I was being violated.”

Dist. Atty. James Fox said he decided not to file charges because Baross provided inconsistent statements and was intoxicated at the time of the alleged assault, which she said occurred in the bedroom of DeBartolo’s Menlo Park home. She went there voluntarily after partying with a group.

DeBartolo, who refused to cooperate with authorities, hasn’t spoken about her charges. But 49ers president and DeBartolo’s close friend, Carmen Policy, who was with the group earlier in the evening, said they were false.

* In February, Desiree Washington allowed her name and picture to be used in People magazine, and then sat for an interview with Barbara Walters on ABC’s “20-20.” The 19-year-old Miss Black America contestant accused heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson of rape.

Tyson was convicted Feb. 10. But church groups and black activists have accused Washington of lying and asked why she was in his room at 2 a.m.

Washington said she revealed her identity to defend her actions. She said she naively went to Tyson’s room because he said he had to pick something up, not because she expected sex with him.

* In December, Patricia Bowman, 30, of Jupiter, Fla., was interviewed by Diane Sawyer on ABC’s “PrimeTime Live.” Her name already had been publicized by NBC, the New York Times and several tabloids. But the single mother came forward to defend her reputation after she accused William Kennedy Smith of rape. He was acquitted. Bowman was vilified as a woman who had “been around,” and who cried rape because Smith called her by the wrong name.

“She wanted to express her feelings about how badly she was treated,” Abbott said. “She felt she didn’t get justice, and the poor woman was hounded by the media. People were selling her address and selling her phone number to the highest bidder.

“She was almost forced to come forward, but when she did it on her terms it was a matter of taking control back over her own life.”

Still, Abbott said, most women won’t reveal their identities or even report rape because of the stigma and possible character assassination they might face, in and out of the courtroom.

FBI statistics show that only one in 10 victims report rape. About 2% to 3% of rape reports are false--the same rate as for other crimes.

As an example of reluctant reporting, eight Washington women cloaked themselves in anonymity after accusing U.S. Sen. Brock Adams of Washington state of sexual assault or harassment. The women, one of whom alleged Adams may have drugged her, talked to the Seattle Times, which investigated for three years before running a March story.

Adams, 65, said the charges were “created out of whole cloth by people that hate me.” He refused to resign, but withdrew his bid for reelection.