Sahl Hones Wit on Primaries

TV or not TV . . .

OPEN SEASON: With New York’s presidential primary on tap today, we decided to consult Mort Sahl.

His political barbs have been in fine form on “Mort Sahl Live!,” his one-hour series on cable TV’s troubled Monitor Channel, which, alas, is planning to shut down around April 15 unless a buyer is found.

In any case, we asked him how he thought New Yorkers are sizing up Democratic contenders Bill Clinton and Jerry Brown.

“What’s interesting,” said the comedian, with his robust, trademark laughter punctuating his comments, “is that they’re both outsiders. They must look like aliens in New York--a Southerner and this California nouvelle cuisine guy.”

Last week, Sahl watched Phil Donahue’s television interview with Clinton, in which the candidate was grilled about his personal life.

“You know--passing the high standards of Phil Donahue,” Sahl cracked dryly.

As for Brown: “I used to kid about him--studying to be a priest and he joins an order where he took the vow of silence on the major issues.”

But now he credits Brown with reading voter discontent, while some others don’t:

“For instance, (TV journalist) John Hart did an interview with (President) Bush, and he talked about the problems of the country. And Bush kept saying, ‘Well, John, I don’t know what country you see. Everywhere I go, people are proud of this country.’ He didn’t go to the same areas.

“It’s like when Reagan used to read those letters, remember? People would write him letters about how happy they are and they’re sending their welfare checks back.”

As it happens, Brown marks his 54th birthday today.

“What’s funny,” said Sahl, “is that Brown was the oldest (Democratic) candidate” who hung in the race, “but everybody acted like (Tom) Harkin was. Brown is two years older. It must be his approach to life.”

A student of TV, Sahl notes that David Frost has a way of “calling to heel” some politicians who often escape with their opinions unscathed: “Don’t ya love it? He’s got an English accent, so he has to be answered. They treat David Frost the way (Ted) Koppel treats Henry Kissinger.”

Sahl cites former television commentator and Republican presidential candidate Pat Buchanan as getting off relatively easily with his views.

“And, of course, on the other side,” says Sahl, “is the President himself, running for re-election for spite.”

These days, Sahl entertains organizations more than playing nightclubs--appearing recently, for instance, at a ceremony where political consultants got awards: “You know, for most misleading commercial.”

There’s been talk that PBS might be interested in picking up Sahl’s Monitor Channel show. “I’ve got my fingers crossed,” he says. In a rough, tough election year, it would be great programming for PBS to sign up a truly savvy humorist capable of reflecting the public anger and cynicism toward politicians.

OVER THERE: The ratings should go through the roof when Fox’s raunchy “Married . . . With Children,” starring Ed O’Neill, heads for London for a three-part season finale that airs May 3, 10 and 17.

The plot ingredients seem perfect for TV’s popular slob family, which wins a surprise vacation with first-class accommodations and then runs into a 500-year-old curse that could wipe them all out--not a bad way to end the reign of these louts.

Anyway, the action all takes place during the May ratings sweeps, as if you didn’t know.

STORMY WEATHER: It may have been fun for Roseanne and Tom Arnold, but KCAL Channel 9’s decision to have them do a weather report on April Fool’s Day was not exactly brilliant thinking by a station that is seeking recognition as a serious news organization.

Maybe it’s in the station’s genes. In its earlier incarnation as KHJ, the broadcast outlet once considered--very briefly--the possibility of having its movie hostess vamp, Elvira, do the weather report. It didn’t happen.

ACT OF FAITH: What’s significant about Katie Couric’s new, long-term deal as co-anchor of NBC’s “Today” show is that the struggling network is publicly expressing confidence in its own future by issuing a five-year contract. As for Couric, she has surely helped revive “Today”--no doubt about that.

HOME-GROWN: Movie stars don’t mean much in weekly television series--never have. The medium creates its own headliners, and if you have any doubt, check out the leading men of three ABC series that end April 25 with one-hour specials: “Growing Pains,” “Who’s the Boss?” and “MacGyver.”

Alan Thicke, who survived a late-hour series called “Thicke of the Night,” which was so bad that he fainted watching one episode at home, became a top TV star in “Growing Pains.” Tony Danza, previously in TV’s “Taxi,” skyrocketed in “Who’s the Boss?” And Richard Dean Anderson, a former soap opera actor, made it big in “MacGyver.”

The three series ran on ABC for a combined total of 22 seasons, adding up to a whopping 503 episodes that also are long-term naturals for the syndicated rerun market.

By the way, TV’s original “Who’s the Boss?” ran on ABC in 1954. It was a quiz show in which panelists tried to identify famous personalities by questioning their secretaries. Mike Wallace was one of the hosts.

THE SKY IS FALLING: “Studs,” TV’s leering little carny show, tied the high-ranked “Arsenio” in the national ratings of syndicated programs for the week ending March 22. Wonder how many distinguished college graduates were involved in the conception, production and distribution of “Studs.”

PROMISES, PROMISES: We are in receipt of a press release that says that “A Current Affair” will “vastly expand its news gathering capabilities.” News gathering? Capabilities? What was the name of that show again?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “The bottom line,” said former NBC boss Pat Weaver, “is that there is a responsibility (in TV) and unfortunately, it is a matter of personal leadership. (Those) at the top have to take the responsibility for letting a great medium that can enrich and inspire and elevate people turn into a boob-tube in the corner of the room to keep the kids quiet.”

BEING THERE: “You’ve got some beautiful place here.”--Peter Falk in “Columbo.”

Say good night, Gracie . . .