Doomsday prophet: “There is not going to...

Doomsday prophet: “There is not going to be any later--doesn’t anyone understand that?” said actor Chris DeCarlo, decrying the mess that humans have made of the world in “Mezzanine” at the Santa Monica Playhouse.

“This whole place is going to hell in a handbag,” he continued. “Existence

is in danger. Doesn’t anyone see that?”

It was hard not to see the possibility, what with the 6.1 earthquake jolting the theater at about that moment. But tremor-wise L.A. audiences are tough to shake up--a witness says no one fled for the exit.

Disaster fare: When we said recently that the Epicentre in downtown L.A., with its unique collection of disaster artworks, was the first earthquake-themed restaurant in California, the shock waves reached 100 miles to the south. All the way to the Earthquake Cafe, a 6-year-old eatery in the San Diego County town of San Marcos. The latter shrine to shakers appeals to the auditory, rather than visual senses: It plays a fun soundtrack that simulates a quake.

Worst timing of the week: No sooner had Michael Tuck of KCBS (Channel 2) broadcast a piece on the execution of murderer Robert Alton Harris the other day than the station switched to a Tombstone Pizza commercial. The ad featured a prison guard asking a condemned man, “What do you want on your Tombstone?” The double irony was that Harris’ order for his last meal included two pizzas--from Domino’s.

Boss from hell: Excerpts from the L.A. Downtown News’ contest, in which readers were invited to recall their most tyrannical employers:

* “He used to make me drive him to get his shoes shined, having me circle the block until he was finished. . . .”

* “If you removed any staples from her paperwork and then restapled it, the staples had to be put back into the same tiny holes. . . .”

* “Worst of all, she couldn’t curb her gas problem. . . .”

* “I lived through 13 years of worrying, ‘Will he go to jail or won’t he?’ (Yes--a federal prison). . . .”

*”He had met his match, because I am the Secretary from Hell! I’m still here; he’s not. . . .”

North vs. South: Bay Area columnist Herb Caen told the story of an L.A. water official named Gordon S. Looflirpa, who angered the Sacramento Rotary Club earlier this month with his lecture on “Water Problems and Solutions.” Especially his line: “Send us your water or we’ll send you our people.”

Eventually the Rotarians figured out that the speaker’s last name, spelled backward, is April Fool.

Too bad the fines of hundreds of thousands dollars owed by the DWP for late property tax payments aren’t a joke, as well.

“A Race Even a Democrat Could Win”: That’s the line on a billboard ad for Hollywood Park. It brings to mind Johnny Carson’s joke about the reporter who asks if Bill Clinton has seen “The Babe.” Responds Clinton: “I’ve never met her. She’s lying.”

miscelLAny:

In the how-times-have-changed category, L.C. Brand dubbed his Glendale estate El Miradero (Look-Out Point) at the turn of the century. The authors of “The City Observed: L.A.” say that Brand chose that name because of the property’s “spectacular smogless view.”