Kids Also Need Help in Coping With Stress

Most young children experience stress at one time or another. Common occurrences--such as a new baby or starting school--often trigger behavior that challenges even the most easygoing parents.

Lawrence Balter, a child psychologist and professor of applied psychology at New York University, has written a series of eight books aimed at helping children and parents cope with anxieties and stress.

This collection of “emotional growth books,” colorfully illustrated by Roz Schanzer (Barron’s, $5.95 each), is designed for parents to read to children 3 to 7 years of age. A letter to parents and teachers at the beginning of each story, and a section at the end for adults, is especially helpful for answering children’s questions.

The series features: “Linda Saves the Day” (understanding fear); “The Wedding” (adjusting to a parent’s remarriage); “A.J.’s Mom Gets a New Job” (adjusting to a two-career family); “What’s the Matter with A.J.?” (understanding jealousy); “Alfred Goes to the Hospital” (understanding a medical emergency); “Sue Lee’s New Neighborhood” (adjusting to a new home); “Sue Lee Starts School” (adjusting to school); “A Funeral for Whiskers” (understanding death).

“I chose these topics because these are the areas that I see parents and children wrestling with the most,” Balter said in an interview.

For example in “Linda Saves the Day,” Balter deals with the age-old problem of irrational fears. Linda is afraid of all dogs. She refuses to go to her friend’s birthday party because the honoree owns a dog. Her sister calls her a “scaredy cat.” Her mother is bewildered by Linda’s behavior. But because her mother eventually offers techniques for dealing with the problem, and after something unusual happens, Linda conquers her fear.

“Although most children go through fearful periods, many parents are threatened by their behavior,” Balter says. “Some parents end up bulldozing right through the fear. In ‘Linda Saves the Day,’ I try to show that a gentler approach most often helps the child.”

All the stories take place in the same fictional city, and they all feature characters from ethnically diverse backgrounds.

“A Funeral for Whiskers” poignantly describes a child’s wide range of feelings when dealing with loss.

“I’m trying to show parents how to see a problem or an issue through a child’s eyes,” Balter says. “Kids are very adaptable and are particularly so when we don’t trivialize their concerns.”

He says death is the subject that parents have the most difficulty discussing with their children. “Parents ask questions like ‘should a child go to a funeral? Should we replace an animal that has died?”’

Balter says bedtime is one of the best times of day to sit down with the books.

“Everybody is winding down at this hour and kids are more likely to open up,” he says.

Balter is the author of several other parenting books including “Who’s in Control?” and “Dr. Balter’s Child Sense.”