No deposit, no romance: Two years ago,...

No deposit, no romance: Two years ago, Lauren and Lindsay Mickelson of Sherman Oaks tossed a bottle containing a note with their address over the side of the Dawn Princess cruise ship off the coast of Guatemala. The note was written on the ship’s stationery.

The other day, they were surprised to receive a response from one Ernesto Cortez, a Filipino fisherman. He recounted how he had spotted a “floating object” that turned out to be “a brown bottle almost covered with hardened material” but with “the folded paper” inside still visible.

The sisters’ mom, Candy Mickelson, who enclosed Cortez’ answer, points out that he identified himself as being single and drew a heart beneath his signature. “It appears he is aware of the Princess lines’ reputation as the ‘Love Boat’ and has not ruled out the possibility of romance,” she said.

Her daughters, she added, are not thrilled. Lauren is 13 and Lindsay is 9. Cortez is 37.

On second thought . . . During the riots, one local TV station played several commercials for a charcoal lighter company that assured viewers it had reformulated its product to meet this area’s air quality standards and concluded with the invitation:

“So grill away, L.A.”

Unexpectedly timely: In Tuesday night’s episode, the characters in TV’s “Roseanne” were drinking a toast after learning they’d lost their jobs at a cafe when one quipped that it was a shame “we’re not out in the parking lot watching the place burn.”

Not Redondo Beach!Darryl Fritsche photographed a message that seems eerie in view of the recent violence--even if it is in placid Redondo Beach. But a city worker says the warning, which is posted on a dead-end street, indicates that strips of plastic have been laid out on the street to discourage street-racing.

Good news, we suppose: L.A. bulk-mail impresario Warren Meyer, whose publicist (yes, he has a publicist) calls him “America’s Junk Mail King,” sent us a press release announcing that he’ll offer free bulk mailings to any business damaged during the rioting.

We aim to please: “Bushism of the Week,” from The New Republic, quoting the President on his plans to visit L.A. in the wake of the riots:

“As you know, I planned a trip out there for some time, so it fits in very nice.”

College humor: Adelaide Tatto of Pacoima saw a student at USC sporting a T-shirt that depicted a flaming L.A. skyline superimposed by the words:

“L.A.: Love It or Loot It.”

One less image problem: Maybe it’s just as well that L.A.’s new entry in the summer Arena Football League folded awhile back without ever playing a game. This wouldn’t be the best time for the city to have a team that calls itself the Los Angeles Attack.

miscelLAny:

High school teacher Leonard J. Waxdeck of Piedmont, Calif., has made 16 appearances on “The Tonight Show” to introduce some of his most accomplished students in the field of bird-calling.