Preserving the O.C. Way by Defeating the Foul Sex

Congressman Bob Dornan is a lot of fun. Really. He’s a political shock jock, a good showman and I like his red beard. Reminds me of that Viking plunderer, Eric the Red.

So I confess. Listening to Dornan rant about some perceived outrage is sort of a wicked pleasure. I tell myself that what he’s saying really isn’t funny, that it’s a lie, then I snicker a little too, out of a perverse nod to his wit.

On the other hand, Bill Dannemeyer, who gave up his House seat to lose the Senate primary, never made me smile. I don’t know; somehow a dour, shrill reactionary just isn’t as camp as a goofball one.

I wanted to pay this compliment to Dornan himself in the wake of his Republican primary win over Judy Ryan, but the congressman was in the clouds when I called.

(No, this time I mean it literally. He was flying to his home in Virginia and therefore out of touch.)

I have an idea, however, about what Bob might say. He has certain “themes” that he likes: the abortionists, the Commies, the gays. And last time I wrote about him, he called me up to tell me what a champion he is of women’s rights. His kind of women, that is.

The rest of us: lesbians; what else?

Oh, not that Bob meant any real harm. This he did explain. (Whatsa matter, gals, can’t take a joke? Huh? Huh?)

See, even though Dornan said that “every lesbian spear chucker in this country” was hoping he would lose his primary race, he clarified for those who asked that he hadn’t meant to suggest a racial smear.

What he really meant to say, the congressman obliged, was “lesbian javelin throwers.”

And I, for one, felt much relieved to hear that. Here’s to pure feminist-baiting! Once again, folks, it’s exciting to be able to report that politics as usual in Orange County is breaking new ground.

Remember what you’ve been hearing about this being the Year of the Woman in politics? The high-profile winning names--Lynn Yeakel, Carol Moseley Braun, Dianne Feinstein, Barbara Boxer--should be familiar by now.

Well, let Tuesday’s primary election results say it once again. Things are very different here. Orange County is a sinkhole for women seeking legislative change.

Of the seven Republican women newcomers on county primary ballots, it looks like only one of them won. Two incumbent Republican women were returned. There were five Democratic women as challengers. Four of them won. Their odds in the general election? Not too hot.

I suppose that all the erudite speculation of What Went Wrong will come soon enough. Typical lousy voter turnout coupled with a numbing lack of interest in anybody not named Perot will surely be on the list.

But I think there is something more. Here, it’s the power boys who seem to make a big deal of a female candidate’s sex. Being a woman with an interest in those issues close to many women’s hearts--abortion rights, health care, education--is portrayed as something that women must defend.

Sadly, too many women who are political novices get sucker-punched. I figure next election, somebody’s going to bring up PMS.

But in the meantime, the radical-feminist-abortion-loving-lesbian card will do. Dornan has been able to effectively use it as code. He even attacked Judy Ryan’s campaign literature showing her, her husband and one child as being “communist-China approved.”

(Actually, Ryan and her husband have six children altogether, counting his and hers.)

Assemblyman Gil Ferguson, who just beat challenger Mary Hornbuckle in his primary race, often plays the radical-feminist-lesbian card himself, but, alas, with far less style than Bully Bob. One of Ferguson’s campaign mailers said this about the woman who dared to take him on:

“We have learned that she is supported by the radical feminist NOW organization, which according to one of its founders is at least one-third lesbian in membership and which seeks the eventual abolition of marriage and the family.”

So, Orange County, know that you are safe. Marriage and family will survive. The lesbians will not throw their spears (or javelins) at your homes. Oh, and the Commies have been defeated yet again.

And if that doesn’t make you sleep more soundly at night, then you should know that something is wrong. There is.

Dianne Klein’s column regularly appears in View.