HOME OFFICE : Space of Their Own Helps Couples Successfully Work Together

They will share their home and even their bed with each other, but not their home offices. And if one wants to spend lunch with the other on a business day, an appointment has to be made.

To work successfully at home together, couples need to agree on two essential rules:

* Create physically separated and equal office facilities.

* Establish “rules of engagement” about how you will relate to each other during office hours.

I began working at home with my wife when we were living and traveling on a 35-foot sailboat in 1984. Our office was the folding dining table in the boat’s narrow main cabin, where we daily set up a computer and printer for writing. I used the office from 6 a.m. until noon, and she used it from noon to 6 p.m. In the confines of a boat, you either learn how to cohabit peacefully or you self-destruct.

From this experience, our rules of engagement were well established by the time we moved ashore: Treat each other’s work seriously, be considerate, be tolerant of the stress and pressure the other person is dealing with, be professional and businesslike toward each other during formal working hours--and stay out of the way when you are not working.

On the boat, we dreamed of having individual home offices and finally got our wish in 1988, when we converted two adjoining bedrooms into offices. We decided that it is important that the offices be as equal as possible, but cost and space limits forced us to share some equipment.

Our laser printer, fax, postage machine and spare printer are in my office. With the offices side by side, it was feasible to run a cable through the wall so both computers can share the laser printer.

Our copier is in her office, but by itself it takes up as much space as all the shared equipment in my office, so it is an equitable trade-off.

We use two-line phones that let us know when a line is in use and allow us to hold and transfer calls for each other.

We are seldom working together on a project, so we have little to say to each other during the day. We occasionally have lunch out with each other, but more often we take a noon break and alternately watch bits of Joan Rivers and CNBC stock market news while we eat.

We have been working together in two home offices and enjoying it since 1988. What has worked for us seems, in general, to be what works for others, as well.

Authors Ann and Evan Maxwell have three offices in their Laguna Niguel home. They collaborate on their popular Fiddler detective series and write separately under pseudonyms and their own names. Even when they collaborate, they break the work up into projects that do not require them to work closely together during the day. That’s the way they like it, especially Ann.

“I interrupt her at my own peril,” he said. “I’ve learned that she hates distractions, including me if I’m feeling particularly chatty. I like distractions, so I answer the phone and accept deliveries.”

The Maxwells’ offices face each other, across an atrium, from opposite sides of the house. They can see each other, but they rely upon an intercom to talk. Their new Macintosh computers are linked by Apple Talk so they can communicate and exchange data by computer.

“We think it’s important to be separated, because we operate independently,” he said. “Getting out of earshot of each other means everyone can talk loud on the phone, play music and not be affected by unwanted distractions.”

Her office is a converted bedroom housing one of the couple’s two computers and their only printer. His office is smaller than hers and was added to the house several years ago for the day when he would start working at home.

The Maxwells’ third office was recently added by converting soon-to-be-married son Matthew’s bedroom into a mail room. The mail room houses the copier, fax machine, an inventory of their published books, a typewriter and the paraphernalia for sending and receiving their heavy volume of mail. They are considering staffing the mail room with a part-time employee.

While they like working at home and with each other, and would not have it any other way, Evan Maxwell admitted that working together intrudes on their personal life.

“You’re always only a few feet away from a business phone,” he said, “and often it’s too hard to walk away from the work you’re doing. We have to get out of the house to relax. But every time I’m on the freeway, I’m reminded that my daily commute is just 15 seconds down the hallway.”

The Maxwells are seriously considering a separate building for their offices when they buy a new home.

Joe and Sherry Bell already have a separate office building behind their house in Santa Ana Heights, but only Joe uses it for his office. Joe Bell is a novelist and magazine writer; Sherry Bell is a journalist and free-lance writer.

“The office,” as he refers to it, was originally a greenhouse that the former owner converted into a home office and was a feature that led them to buy the property. Her office was created in January, 1992, when major remodeling enabled her to take over her son’s former bedroom. Before getting her own home office, she worked on the dining room table and said neither she nor her husband ever considered sharing his office.

“We’re both loners,” he said, “and I really need time to myself.”

Their offices look out on the large and pleasant back yard, and they are within sight of each other through the windows. His office contains only his typewriter and desk, and is set up more like a conventional den, with a TV and reading chair. Her office contains her computer and the couple’s fax and answering machines.

The Bells share one telephone line, which she said is getting to be a problem. But the way it has worked so far is that her phone has a light on it so she knows when it is in use. When one of them gets a call for the other, she said, “We open the door and yell or communicate with sign language through the windows.”

Since they both normally work on separate projects, they seldom have any business to discuss during the day. Joe Bell gets up early, goes out for coffee, then comes back to his office and has no idea what his wife is doing.

Both Bells routinely write all morning, then take a break about noon. “We have to decide whether we’re going to have lunch together,” he said. “Normally we do about once a week and make an appointment with each other.”

Sherry Bell said, “Working together has been good, because we have a lot of time together and share a lot as a result. The bad thing is that we sometimes dump stress on each other that would dissipate by the time you drove home.”

To make it work, he said, “it’s important to talk and make sure you each understand what the other wants. And learn to ask if it is a good time to interrupt what the other is doing.”