Commentary : Who’s the Boss? Dad Hopes He Is

I read yet another report recently concluding that television--in this case, exposure to TV violence--is harmful to children.

In the past, various studies have said that TV can make kids fat, lazy, stupid or all of the above.

And I believe it’s true.

But I’m not concerned that my 7-year-old daughter, Nina, will suddenly start shooting up the neighborhood. Still, for the past several weeks, my daughter has been walking around the house greeting every conceivable breach of good conduct or taste with the huffy reprimand “How RUUUUDE!”

At first I thought it was cute, even clever. Then I discovered that she had picked it up from a rerun of ABC’s “Full House,” a show I have always considered junk. Apparently it’s one of the show’s signature punch lines.

So much for clever and cute. How many of Nina’s memorable rejoinders that I had proudly quoted to colleagues, I had to wonder, were really hers?

I guess I thought I had everything under control, having limited Nina long ago to what amounts to a two-hour weeknight block of reruns composed of “Who’s the Boss” “Growing Pains” and “The Cosby Show” (She apparently watches “Full House” on the sly.) All are modern-day, so-called family shows.

Over time, I’ve come to realize that Nina is basing at least some of her impressions about family life on what she sees on television. If that’s not enough to scare the pants off any parent, I don’t know what is.

With the exception of “The Cosby Show,” with its intact family with two highly educated, loving, concerned and awake parents, the TV families my daughter spends the most time with are filled with people I’d never let her near in real life.

Like the obnoxious “Who’s the Boss?,” which stars Tony Danza as a widower with a young daughter who works as a live-in housekeeper for a divorced woman living in Connecticut with her young son and highly sexed mother.

Or there’s the impossibly silly setup of “Full House,” a sitcom about a widowed San Francisco sportscaster raising his three daughters with the help of his best friend and brother-in-law.

Here’s what family life is like on “Who’s the Boss?” A recent show opened this way:

Angela holds up two dresses and asks her mother, Mona, for her opinion.

Angela: “OK. OK. Which one is screaming, ‘I’m looking for a good time’?”

Mona: “Angela, the last time one of your dresses had a good time it was pressed up against Tony’s suit at the cleaners.”

And how did it close? With a guest appearance from none other than now-convicted rapist Mike Tyson, who’s greeted by applause, applause, applause.

In between all of this, Tony’s daughter tells her dad she isn’t sure she should attend an out-of-town school because she’s not confident in her father’s ability to take care of himself.

That’s a fairly typical assessment by TV kids of their dads--and parents in general.

But heaven forbid I should ever speak unkindly of these shows or their characters, because my child will always rise angrily to their defense, citing episodic sensitivities, anti-drug messages, good deeds done, etc.

Somehow, I never have the comeback to persuade her to my point of view.

Maybe the TV families I watched as a kid were a little too perfect.

I certainly don’t remember Donna Reed--or my parents--having these kinds of problems with their kids.