‘Best of the Best’ Books That Deal With Non-Traditional Families

The traditional family--consisting of two biological parents and their offspring living under one roof--has become less common.

In its place are families made up of various combinations of adults and children.

Although this trend is not new, living in a family that is different from others can sometimes cause problems for children.

The pain and confusion often affect children’s confidence, concentration and ability to communicate and form bonds with peers.

And most learning materials don’t help. Typically, they are slow to reflect societal changes, so children from non-traditional families don’t usually see themselves represented in their schoolbooks.

It’s largely up to parents, then, to help children find legitimacy and benefit in their own family structures.

Consider the following “best of the best” titles to spark parent-child discussions.

The most common type of non-traditional family is headed by a single parent.

“This is Me and My Single Parent: A Discovery Workbook for Children and Single Parents” can help children understand and resolve questions and concerns about why there’s only a mother or father at home.

Written by M. D. Evans, the workbook offers exercises and discussion prompts that can help the child explore family history, bond more closely with the parent and deal with other potential problems.

The oversized, thick paperback costs $13.95 and is most appropriate for ages 5 through 12.

“Do I Have a Daddy?” is a great storybook for single mothers raising toddlers and children in primary grades.

Written by Jeanne Warren Lindsay and illustrated by Cheryl Boeller, the book tells the story of Erik, a young boy who sees that his friends have fathers and sadly wonders why he doesn’t. Mom explains why there is no father at home, and that Erik is loved just as much as his friends are loved by their parents.

The “Special Section for Single Parents” at the end of the book navigates the parent through touchy topics, including “Totally Absent Father” and “If Daddy Returns.”

The 46-page paperback costs $5.95.

When single parents marry, the resulting step-family can be another crisis for a child.

“What Am I Doing in a Step-Family?” written by Claire Berman and illustrated by Dick Wilson, can help a young child adjust to the altered family portrait.

It covers issues such as what to call a step-parent and how to communicate with step-siblings.

The paperback costs $9.95.

Adopted children often question why they were “given up,” who their “real” parents are, and how they fit into their adoptive families.

“Our Baby: A Birth and Adoption Story” tackles this topic simply and gently for young children.

It explains how the child was conceived and born, and that the adoptive family specifically chose him or her.

Written by Janice Koch, the hardcover storybook costs $10.95.

“How It Feels to Be Adopted,” by Jill Krementz, is excellent for children of junior high school age and older.

In it, 19 boys and girls, ages 8 to 16, give their accounts of the good and bad points of being adopted.

Each story is about three pages long and accompanied by black-and-white photos of the writers. The book costs $10.

Families consisting of same-sex parents have probably existed throughout history but they’ve only recently been acknowledged in children’s literature.

“Daddy’s Roommate,” written and illustrated by Michael Willhoite, is an excellent book for children ages 4 to 6.

Its narrator is a young boy who tells of life with daddy and Frank, which includes the usual leisure activities, responsibilities and love that other families enjoy. “Being gay is just one more kind of love,” the boy concludes.

This hardcover book costs $14.95.

“Heather Has Two Mommies” follows a similar route; it is narrated by a young girl named Heather who has two of everything--including mothers.

It tells how the women’s initial friendship became love, and that one woman was artificially inseminated to produce Heather. Heather explains that she does ordinary “kid things” with both her mothers.

“Heather Has Two Mommies” costs $7.95 in paperback. It is written by Leslea Newman, and illustrated by Diana Souza.